MUDDY BUDDY!

The race that Caloy and I did this morning in Boulder was beyond phenomenal. It has rained here for several days and the course was muddier than you can even imagine ... thick, deep, sludge ... it was awesome!

I started on the bike and Caloy ran. We were separated by a minute and a half. The 1st go on the bike was smooth till I turned a corner and the path led down this steep hill of slime ... people were stopping and pulling fist-fulls of mud off their tires, they couldn't move. I trudged through as much as I could ... then came the 1st obstacle. I dumped the bike and looked back to see Caloy coming up to the transition area too! We had to get up and over a climbing wall and down a cargo net on the opposite side. I then took off running and Caloy was left with the muddied bike.

My 1st run was more like a walk or a jog at best. The trail was so slippery and the mud was so thick, it just wrapped around every step I made ... again, it was awesome! Caloy could hardly ride by this time and he had to pick his bike up to get to the top of a hill ... it was more like a steep mud cliff ... I was glad to be running that leg and not holding a bike over my head while climbing.

The 2nd obstacle was a weird tower-pyramid kind of thing. You had to climb over and under these beams ... again, everything is covered in mud, which made it a little more difficult but a lot more fun! Caloy had dropped the bike and he waited there for me because just down the bend was water ... We had to go through waist deep water, with the bike ... it was nice to be able to wash it off, but then your feet and socks were covered in lake bottom sludge. Once out of the water, I took off riding again and Caloy started to run.

At the next mile marker, I dropped the bike and the 3rd obstacle was a huge balance beam ... my days of gymnastics came flooding back and I was up and over it in no time ... and again, I started to run! All the people that were racing were so fun and encouraging. We made T-shirts last night that said TEAM FERNANDEZ ... Matthew wrote GO MOM on the back of mine and GO DAD on Caloy's. Other participants had some really creative and insane costumes ... tutus to superheros, smurfs and peter pan ... it was super crazy!

My last running leg was great and it ended at a super huge inflatable slide for the 4th obstacle! Not the normal back yard jump house style inflatable ... it was HUGE! I had to climb a ridiculously steep cargo net to the top and once there, I actually got butterflies since it was so high. The slide was muddied and slick ... so flying down it was easy. I hopped on the bike then for the last leg ... and Caloy was running.

I passed him and got near the end and decided to wait for him. It was right by the swim beach at the reservoir, so since I had a minute or two, I dunked the bike again to wash it off ... didn't help too much, but it felt good. Caloy came along and together we went to the finish ...

The mud pit!

We dumped the bike and had to go up a sand bank that had a cargo net laying on it, the only way through was on your tummy ... then into the mud pit! The flags that lined the mud pit were maybe a foot off the ground, so again you had to army crawl through it. It was ridiculous and funny, kinda hard to trudge through and unlike anything I've ever done in my life!

We had such an awesome time. Caloy and I cheered each other on, a few kisses when we saw each other, high fives when we passed, and we held hands through the mud. It was just so much fun! We will do it every year ... and encourage our friends to do it with us! Super fun, muddy and silly ... what better way to spend a Sunday morning?!?

Conversations ...

Tonight I had a few really great conversations with Matthew.

He went to Wal Mart with me ... and on the way out we stopped and looked at all the posters of missing children they have on their wall.

Looking at those pictures led us into a grand conversation about strangers, about what to do if someone would try to take him and why those people are missing ...
"Can I hit him, if he tries to take me?"
"Yes, Matthew you could hit him!"

We talked about what blessings are ... our family, our friends, our home ... we talked about that today earlier when we were organizing his closet for the new school year ... he was so happy that he had clothes to wear and he asked why some people don't.

As we were loading the car, a woman approached me and asked for money, she said she was hungry and I have her some cash ...
"Why does she want money Mom?" (as the woman is standing right there).
"Because she doesn't have any Matthew."
"Oh."

I love when I explain something to him and he just shrugs and says "oh." We talked about Jesus too on the way home ... He was talking about God being Jesus' Daddy ... and where do they live ... this is a big question lately ...
"Where does Jesus live Mom?"
"In your heart Matthew and in Heaven."
"Why in Heaven?"
"Because that is our home and when this lifetime is all done, we will go to Heaven."
"I don't want to go to Heaven now."
"You aren't, but when you do, I will be there, so will Daddy and Nannie and Poppy and Grace."
"Oh, then I want to be there too."
"Then you need to love Jesus Matthew."
"I do."

I love the little conversations with my children ... Grace is far more talkative than Matthew was at her age, I love the Whys and Whats ...

Thank you Jesus for the chance to talk with Matthew about strangers, to tell him about the blessings we have in our life, and to keep talking about You above all. You are so Gracious. Amen.

DONE!

Yes, Y Camp is over ... and what an ending it was ...

We had rain all day ... which is kinda rare here, we get some rain here and there, as storms come over the mountains ... but from sun up to sun down it was raining yesterday and the last day of our 11 week journey was spent inside all day. Our schedule was flipped around, pretty chaotic, but all in all (sigh) it is done.

I did have a great summer. My staff was great (all in all) ... no HUGE emergencies with campers ... it was all pretty smooth. I think we run an awesome program and I am proud to be at the helm. It is ridiculously exhausting, but it is just as rewarding.

Again, (deep exhale) I am done.

It is still raining today and tomorrow is Caloy and my Muddy Buddy Race ... and um, yea, it'll be muddy ... to say the least. Today will be a day to be home with my family, snuggling in jammies as it rains, watch a few good movies and rest up for tomorrow. We do have to make it into Boulder to pick up our race packet at REI, but that is easy enough. The race is only 6 miles. 3 miles are running and 3 miles are on a bike, there are crazy obstacles at every mile marker and the last one is the mud pit, which will be remarkably muddy tomorrow I am sure! I'll post pictures. I think Caloy and I will make matching T Shirts today. Team Fernandez ... something like that.

Priority Numero Uno having completed Summer Camp and Gracie having her last day at The Goddard is to potty train this little sass-pot. She is SOOOO ready ... pulling down her own pants, getting a diaper and telling me she needs to be wiped ... um, yea, she is ready!

Matthew starts 1st grade on Tuesday. His school schedule has changed and the bus will be at our front door at 6:45. Yes, you read that right ... 6:45 in the morning, dressed, fed and ready for 1st grade. Goodness. He is super excited about it though ... heart breaking really. I remember 1st grade, my teacher, my friends ... and here is my own child ready to take on education ... just feels slightly different than Kindergarten ... he'll have real homework and so on. It will challenge Matthew greatly, but he will be successful, this is his Spirit, to rise above.

Matthew also lost his 7th tooth last night ... yes, 7th. Crazy right?!? He has the silliest mouth of oversized teeth right now, big gaps and goofiness all over the place. He is growing up far too fast ... this summer has been great for him too, his speech is really improving ... I have so much to be thankful for.

Have you read The Shack?!? That'll be a blog in itself ... amazing book, really life changing.

I didn't weigh-in this morning ... In my head I think, "I will get back on track ... back on the wagon ... " but really my heart is saying, "You are, you have never left the track or the wagon ..." Life circumstances are what they are and you are doing what you can in this moment. No regrets, no guilt ... Just refocus ... and I will. I am.

Did I mention that Y Camp is over?!?

Jesus, You are my light, my breath and the reason that I am. Thank you for the gaps and goofiness that spill from my child's mouth everytime he smiles. Thank you for the sassiness in my Gracie and the opporotunity to be home and teach her how to use the potty. Thank you for the full time job You have provided for my husband, the amazing benefits and enabling me to be home again with my children. Bless Matthew's new teacher, Ms. Pray ... that she sees in Matthew Your light and love. Bless Caloy and I tomorrow during our muddy race, that our legs will keep up and our bodies will stay healthy. Jesus thank you for The Shack, the example it sets for a relationship with You, I am inspired.
Amen.

Excuses ...

I have a lot at the moment ...

Starting from a few weeks ago ... training for my triathlon, "carbing up" ... which actually makes me laugh ... after my race and resting up right? Ha, that makes me laugh too ... going out with people from work ... my in laws were here and holy crap that is a separate blog itself ... I've been so tired and work is a nightmare at the moment ... this Friday is the last get together with everyone from work and my book club ... I think. I am tired ... did I mention that one already? Just haven't been working out like I should ... been eating well but not journaling ... for one reason or the other, whatever excuse comes into my mind at that moment ... the sky is blue ... the wind is blowing ... this or that ... just excuses ... plain and simple.

I haven't gotten on the scale at Weight Watchers in a few weeks now ... and don't see it happening this Saturday either ... just got so much going on and something's got to give ... is that another excuse? Yes. I suppose so.

I am so looking forward to a week from today ... Monday morning, getting Matthew on the bus, being home with Grace, taking her for a run ... preparing an awesome dinner for my family ... just to be home and not have the stress of camp, running that show, the staff and campers ... just to be (deep breath) home.

In my head I can rationalize everything away ... I'll be able to refocus when camp is over ... I can get back on track ... blah blah blabbity blah ...

True yes. Lame ... maybe. It is what it is.
Going to finish reading The Shack ... amazing book, amazing.

Sirens and other thoughts ...

Ok, this one is long and random ...

Last night while I was upstairs in Gracie Lou's room, I looked outside and noticed how dark and scary the sky looked ... not the entire sky, but just to the North West ... I was walking out to my car on the phone with my Ma and she asked if I could hear the sirens ... Sure enough, I did.

Tornado sirens.

I decided going out wouldn't be the smartest choice and I went back into the house. I had the weirdest feeling in my tummy though, listening to those sirens ... then the National Weather Alert thing came on the T.V. too. I looked at my family, sitting together at the table eating cake for Caloy's birthday without a care in the world ... when outside the warning signs were clear.

The storm passed and nothing came of it, but it was such a weird feeling.

Certainly different than growing up in CA with earthquakes ... they would just happen, no warning signs, no sirens ... just shaking and rolling ... sometimes I would get up and make it to the doorway and other times I would just think, oh, another earthquake ... and continue on ...

Weird.

Things we can not control, which really is most of life. Yes, earthquakes and "tormados" (as Matthew says) are things that I can do nothing about ... but all in all, besides the silly choices I make moment to moment, what else do you do when you hear the sirens? Be with my family, stay safe and pray.

I have 6 days left of Y Camp ... 6 days ... 6 ...

I got to meet with Nancy today. I love meeting with Nancy. I am so thankful to know her, to be in her presence, to hear her affirmations and to share with her the deepest parts of my soul. I love Nancy. I am doing some great work with her. Today she brought up past relationships ... and as much as I laugh them off or think, whew, that was a bad choice ... they were all significant in one way or another. I have grown so much and for that I am so filled with gratitude. I am praying that with our new insurance from Caloy's job that I will be able to see her more ... Really though, I would pay her double what we pay her now, she is amazing, Heaven sent and just what God wants for me at this exact moment. Thank you Lord for Nancy.

My in-laws are coming tomorrow ... short and sweet visit, I'll put a smile on my face for my husband and I will go with the flow. They are just here for the weekend. Certainly, distance has made this relationship easier ... better? Hmmm ... easier ... yes.

I love America's Next Best Dance Crew on Mtv. I love dancing, watching dancing ... and this week it is all about the 80's ... really, could anything be better? I love the 80's music ... the dancing is awesome. I love dancing.

I have 6 days left of Y Camp ... did I say that already?

Tornado warnings, time with Nancy, in-laws on their way, dancing and 80's music ... Random thoughts but such is life.

Crossing the finish line ...

is the greatest feeling! What an awesome race today! The weather was Divine this morning. The water was in the 70's and it felt great! I had a road bike this time around which made a significant difference on the bike part instead of a mountain bike ... I passed several people on mountain bikes and I was thankful I was not on one. By the time the run came around it was quite toasty ... easily 95 degrees ... but it is all worth it when you hear people applauding and you run, arms in the air, yelling WHOOOO HOOOOOO, across the finish line. Can't you just imagine?!? It was fabulous.

I had a 3 solid goals for myself;
1. To really enjoy the swim and being in the open water.
2. To pass people on the bike ride and say "left".
3. To do the run in under 45 minutes.

I did all 3. When I had passed the 1st buoy I did stop for a moment and take a look around, just to make sure I was moving ... it is an odd sensation with all those people in the water ... after swimming at the Y in calm water you can see in ... then to be in water that you can hardly see your hand in front of you and the choppiness of the water, I wanted to make sure I was actually going some where. Ha. It was great though ... I love swimming.

The last time I did this triathlon I had a mountain bike and I was bummed when I was constantly passed by women saying "left" ... I was excited to be one of those women today.

"Left. Thank you. Left. On your Left, Thanks!"

At one point I was thinking about a memory from Seal Beach. Melissa, Randy (her Dad) and I would go on great bike rides on the weekend ... for miles and miles down the beach boardwalk ... we called ourselves "The Whizzers" ... since we whizzed on by. Made me smile as I was riding today thinking about that ... I loved those rides with Randy and Melissa.

Then the run ... I was happy to run in under 45 minutes ... my pace was around 13 minutes, which was great considering the heat and the mondo hill the 1st part of the run ... oh, and I had just swam a 1/2 mile and rode for 12 miles ... so yea, my time was rockin!

I got to sneak a peak at my actual race times on the Tri-for-the-cure website ... I'll get some pictures from the race soon ... and if possible, I'll post them in all my race gear glory! So here is the official breakdown;

Swim 22:19
Transition 7:13
Bike 44:24 (15.4 mph)
Transition 5:25
Run 41:48 (13.29/mile)
Total: 2:01:11

I think it is so cool how you get the official breakdown including your transition times ... just a minute over 2 hours and I can see how my transitions could be way, way, way shorter!

I am super proud of myself ... I took time to enjoy every moment and I praised God the entire time. It is quite a gift to have a body that can handle such a race, that can float in the water, that can peddle a bike and can run for 3 miles. Phenomenal.

I love this race because it is all women ... every shape, size and color that you can imagine. As I was waiting for my wave to go into the water, women were coming out of the lake and the applause for everyone was heart warming. My eyes welled up at one point when several older, and I mean older, women came out of the water ... they were breathing pretty hard but the Divine look of accomplishment was overwhelming. I pray that my body will keep up and I will still be doing races like that when I am older too. There will always be someone younger or older, thinner or heavier ... and I just really enjoyed being me, at this moment, with this body. It was a great race!

Thank you Lord for today, for the sunshine, the warm water and the blue skies. Thank you for the nap I got to take this afternoon with Matthew, as we were up all night long last night with him throwing up. I feel renewed and I am filled with gratitude. Onward I go Lord, following wherever You may lead me. Amen.

Morning Brick ...

No, not in the bathroom ... although I must start off by saying that yesterday I thought I might die. A wonderful Mom from our program brings in amazing cookies at the end of every summer ... and yesterday I was enticed by the peanut butter-y ones with a chocolate kiss in the center ... you know these right? I had one, two ... ok three. And holy $#%@ did I pay for it. My body was not happy with the trace amount of milk and it certainly let me know! Horrible. Ugh.

Ok, back to this morning ... I got up at 5:30 (thanks husband) and went to swim at the Y. I bought a new tri-skort-biker-short-dealie at REI and needed to get in the water wearing it before my race on Sunday. It is awesome! The fit feels great and swimming with it wasn't all that weird. It's that quick dry stuff, so all in all, a rocking purchase! Then I drove home and got directly on my bike which is fresh back from the bike shop, all ready to roll ... I rode a few miles, wet still and enjoying the sunrise. The tri-skort-thing has the extra tush pads for the bike ride, which you know, I wouldn't think my tush needs any more padding, but it does help. I know Monday after the race my hoo-ha will be aching ... but that is part of the fun right?!? Hmmm, that sounded weird.

An awesome morning work out. I am super excited to pick up my race stuff tomorrow morning. I feel very well prepared this time around and am looking forward to the finish line! Caloy and the kids will be there to cheer me on too! Matthew is excited for "Mommy's Racer".

Today is our last day at the sites we rent for Summer Camp. We get to move a million things today while still having a program ... it'll be crazy, but do-able. Then only 2 weeks left ... 10 days ... and I am home free ... with my sassy girl, Matthew back at school, mainstreamed in the 1st grade with an interpreter, Husband at his awesome job ... Can life be any better? Blessings abound, my heart overflows and I am so filled with gratitude. Thank you Jesus.