Letting Go ...

I had resolved several weeks back to continue training for my Half IronMan ... and today I am letting it go ...

Not the goal, I know I'll do it eventually ... this summer it's not happening, and I am ok with that.

In light of what is coming with Matthew ... I am letting it go. I can't pretend that I will have the time, strength or energy through July to train, and I am ok with that.

I need to be his Mommy, I need to be there when he calls, and I am ok with that.

I am ok with this ... I am letting it go ... for now.

Rain + Hormones = Weepy mess.

Whew ... I am a weepy mess this morning.

Had an AWESOME Saturday. I went to work ... had the 1st of our "Second Saturday Series" for the Health Smart Behavior graduates ... was great to see people that had completed the 1st cohort ... hear how they have been since the class finished.

Then, I went up to G's house ... we drove to Fort Collins and met up with some friends, new and old. Had a nice lunch ... allowed myself to indulge in the midst of this diet (paying for it today with rockin' diarrhea ... too much information?) We went to a place in town that had swings at the bar, I wasn't drinking ... stone cold sober, Thriller came on the radio ... What's a girl to do?

Yep, I moved tables and made a dance floor so I could do the dance ... mid-afternoon on a rainy Saturday, everyone applauded. My mom commented when I told her later on the phone, "Wow, it must be hard being so shy!"

We ended up a little place in Johnstown called "The Corral" ... again, not drinking. I had coffee at 9pm. And ... lucky me ... it was Karaoke night. I did my go-to song, "Let's Hear It for The Boy" by Denise Williams, the Karaoke DJ, asked me to do a duet ... ha, we sang "Cruisin" the version from Huey Lewis (sp?) and Gweneth Paltrow (sp?). It was awesome. G and I sang some Abba ... and I got to do a reprise of Thriller for everyone in the bar ... complete with dance break. It was awesome.

So, here I am this morning, with a grateful heart for a fun Saturday ... it's raining ... listening to some sweet music and just feeling weepy ... missing friends, playing cards with Matthew, enjoying some coffee, feeling nostalgic ... damn hormones ... theraputic to just let tears fall sometimes. So much to be thankful for ... dancing and singing to Thriller twice in one day ... on the top of my list.

For the 1st time ...

in 16 years ...

I am eating chicken.

Yep ... chicken ... me ... eating it. Yep.

I'm doing the entirely organic, free range deal ... and paying a buttload for it. Buttload ... such a great word. I need to use it more often.

Buttload.
Buttload.
Buttload.

Soooooooooo ... in that DRASTIC diet change ... I have lost TEN pounds. Yep. Nuts huh?

TEN.

I am thrilled.

Buttload.
There, had to say it once more.

Fantastic Friday Run

Damn, I feel good.

I had a GREAT run ... beautiful day ... slight breeze ... rockin' tunes ...

Just feels fantastic.

Thank you Jesus for giving me a body that can move, for a heart that pumps life through my entire being, for muscles that are strong enough to carry me, for feet that are fast and lungs that expand with every breath of You. Thank you for the arms that sway to the music I hear, for my eyes to take in the beauty that surrounds me. I love you.

No Lane Love

Soooooooooooo ... I woke up before I had planned this morning.

Swim suit on.
Found keys to the car.
Drove to the Y.
Walked into the locker room and into the pool ...

And, all the flippin' lane lines were full ... some were doubled up already ... #$@%!?

Suck.

So I went to King Soopers and bought donuts instead.

Wait ... I didn't eat any ... just bought them for the kids.

I went to work and did the 12:15 spin class ... THEN ... I ran a 5K on the treadmill.

Feels awesome.

No lane love ... but plenty of other love was found.
I love me.
A lot.

Back at it ...

I had a great ride on Sunday ... 15 miles ... not too much, but to be out, on a beautiful day ... I really pushed myself hard and I feel good about it.

I did the Body Pump class today at the Y ... and ran when I came home.

Tomorrow morning I am swimming at 6am and I am taking a spin class at noon.

Got on a scale today at work ... was not good, knew it wouldn't be ... but I am back at it.

I'm doing it.

I've been wishy washy as of late about the Half Ironman race in August.

The race is 3 months from tomorrow.

I got a wonderfully encouraging email from a girl in my training group.

I'm doing it.

I can do it.

I can train.

I will make the time.

I will cross the finish line.

Why do I doubt my own strength?