Another 1.8 ...

Yes! Today I weighed-in and was down another 1.8lbs. Awesome. It had been 2 weeks, but I just knew I was down. I had to go to my doctor's office this past Wednesday to get a shot of Toradol in the butt to relive my migraine. I got on the scale in her office, at a different time of day than my normal 7 a.m. weigh-in, wearing anything but my typical weigh-in gear (yes, I wear the same clothes every time I go to Weight Watchers, lots of people do, it's all about consistency!) and I was down on her scale, so I knew I was good. It was a weird sense of justification for me, like, "Oh, whew, yep, ok, my weight-loss shows on this scale too, it must be real ..." Weird I know. I did get to sign my name on the 10% loss poster today, I got 2, count em' baby, 1 ... 2 ... stickers ... and I got a keychain. That is a lot of excitement for 7 a.m on a Saturday, but I'll take the praise, stickers and what not ... silly, but it makes me happy.

Something that does not make me happy however is hunting. Yea, super dooper change of subject, but I think it is horrid and disgusting. On TV here in Colorado, you can watch people, men mostly, but tonight I saw a woman, dressed like a freaking tree, with a gun, waiting quietly to kill an animal that is doing nothing more than living it's sweet animal life. Why in the hell would someone hide in the brush, and kill a defensless animal? Just for fun? The woman that was on tonight was out of breath and nearly speechless, so thrilled with the sudden and horrific death she had just brought to a helpless deer. She went on and on about it's beauty ... and shot it! It is just so beyond anything I can imagine, it really infuriates me. Just for fun, with a shot gun, an animal in the wild ... I can not even begin to fathom how that can bring joy to someone. And, let me just say this ... this is not an "oh, to each his own ..." moment ... I am angered at the thought of someone doing this for sport, these people have other means for food, this is not for survival, this is for enjoyment, and I think it is something that is wrong, deplorable and sick.

Whew, alrighty (deep breath) ... moving on.

Tonight we were all in my bedroom, getting the kids ready for bed, and it was time to pray. Tonight Grace prayed all by herself for the 1st time. She always ends with us, "we love you Jesus, Amen", and lately she has been reminding us every morning and night that "angels watch us and keep us safe" ... but tonight, she did it all ... by her sweet self. It was a Divine moment, she signed and spoke, she said "Thank you God for food, work and angels watch us, keep us safe, good sleep, we love you Jesus, Amen." Her little voice melts my heart. It was so amazing to watch and hear. Matthew even said, "Wow Mom, Gracie prayed all by herself!".

I will teach my children to pray, to love Jesus and to never, ever, ever go hunting.

Thank you Lord for another 1.8lbs lost from this body. Thank you for the Divine day we had in Denver with our friends. Thank you for the prayer that Grace said, I can only imagine how it melted Your heart Lord, as it did mine. Forgive people Lord that take it upon themselves to destroy what you have created for good, to kill animals for fun and game. I know this must make You as sad as it does me. This world is broken Lord and I can hardly wait for the day when we are forever in Your perfect presence.
Amen.

Oreos and a 5k

Whew, I woke up with a bad headache today ... that just puts such a crappy spin on your day, waking up with a throbbing head ... I've taken meds, which I really think make me feel even more yucky ... now I am downing more water than a camel in hopes that I can drown my headache away ...

Last night I was so frustrated by the end of the night with the potty training war. Caloy went to the store and bought mint oreos ... my nemesis. I only had a few. The thought was, "oh, what a day, some oreos will make me feel better ..." They didn't. They were so sugary, grainy almost ... and they left me feeling nauseated.

I will count it as a victory though that I only ate a few and not an entire row ... which has been known to happen before. Why is it that feeling frustrated or exhausted leads to mindless eating? I'm going to ask Nancy next time I see her ... I know that I am doing better in this area, that I am continuing my surrender of emotional eating to Jesus, He can only fill that hole, He can give me peace, not some chemical laden cookies that just sit in my tummy and in the end only make me feel worse.

On the flip side, this morning ... although I woke up with a headache and have had bathroom issues for several days (that's another story! Flippin' digestion!) ... I still made the choice to workout on the treadmill instead of overeat. I ran the fastest 5k I have ever run ... and I am so proud. I still have a glimpse of a headache but I feel so much better having exercised.

Grace just asked to take a nap. Thank you Jesus. I am going to take the time now for a long hot shower, to shave my legs even ... to know that even though I chose to eat something that I probably should not have, I made a better choice today, to sweat out my frustrations and in turn feel renewed instead of worse ... I am closer to my goal everyday, I am thankful for the choices I have, the opprortunity to exercise, to eat food that is pleasing to my body and to pass by that which was not made by God. I am thankful for my treadmill, the TV in the basement and the Elmo DVD that occupied Grace, the shoes I have to run and the IPOD that supplies music that brings joy to the depths of my soul.

Time to shower ...

Pee-pee on the potty!

C'mon man! Grace is just playing me now ... really. This girl is soooo flippin' ready, it's killing me. She came into our bedroom and said she was wet. I asked her to get a pull-up ... she took off the wet one, put it into the trash, went into her bedroom, got a new one and put it on ... she changed her OWN diaper. C'mon!!!!!!

Today is the day. Cold turkey, or cold TOFUrky actually ... she wasn't happy to put on undies (I don't like the word panties) 1st thing this morning when she woke up ... but this is the day, no more diapers, pull-ups, nothing. She is ready and so am I.

Bring it on Gracie Lou, Mama isn't caving in today!

I love ...

that my dear husband had to be to work super early and he still found the time to make pancakes and coffee for us before he left. He is such a good man. I love you Caloy.

that my sweet Gracie Lou is sleeping so well in her new big girl bed, nap times are a different story, but I loved that this morning she got out of her bed alone and came toddling down the stairs with really awesome bed head!

this morning when I had the chance to pray with Matthew alone. We normally pray as a family every morning before Matthew gets on the bus and at night before the kids sleep ... but this morning Caloy was gone early and Grace was still sleeping ... so it was just Matthew and I. It was sacred and Divine, sweet prayer time with my son and I loved it.

the new red shoes that Kea gave us for Grace. She is wearing them right now with her strawberry shortcake jammies. I love red shoes.

that our afternoon driver, Janie, who listens to KLove and talks about God with Matthew, will start to bring Matthew right to the YMCA after school. I'll be directing that program and she can bring him right to me. How great to have a job that I can have both of my children with me?!? Fabulous, I love that.

the homework that Matthew has everyday. I love the time that we sit together at the table and practice his spelling words, read in his folder and do whatever else we need to do for the night. I love how much he is learning and that he is in a mainstream classroom with an awesome interpreter.

to think about Stacy and her bug epidemic ... it would completely freak me out if it were my problem, but thinking of her makes me giggle ... especially the gun shot sound as Eric smashed the roach.

that my Dodgers are making an awesome run, are in 1st place and are showing no signs of slowing down ... Go Blue!

So much in life to be thankful for, so many blessings, so many things I love ... these are just a few that came to mind this morning ...

Dairy and other random thoughts ...

This is my TMI (that means "too much info" Ma!)warning ...

So I changed the blog background again ... I love the one that Stacy has, oh and Shana's too ... I am just not nerdy enough to download it or do whatever you have to do ... so I am going with blue for the moment.

Just home from a rockin' run-walk-pick-up-cheerios-pick-up-blankey-run-pick-up-blankey-again-stop-at-safeway-to-pee-walk-run- ... All in all it totaled 5.05, said my nice lady in my ipod, so for that I am proud. I love how I feel after an awesome work out ... my body is sweaty and I feel fabulous, I feel renewed and full of strength.

My latest Starbucks kick was the new Pumpkin Spice soy latte ... until I asked what the syrup was and the 1st freakin' ingredient is DAIRY! LAME! DUMB! STUPID FREAKIN' DAIRY! Awwwww, I was super dooper bummed ... no wonder my tummy was a' grumblin' ... DAIRY SUCKS! It is in everything ... If only dairy was supposed to be consumed by humans ... as in the milk in my boobies is meant for my babies, the same goes for a cow and all other mammals ... I wouldn't give my milk to another mammal for consumption ... and the process by which it all happens is freakin' horrific! Mommy cows have to have babies for milk to be made, and those babies are stripped from their mommies and sold to veal farmers ... the research about all of it is just so disgusting and sad. Most dairy cows have diseased utters from the over production of milk and that's why all the hormones and crap have to be added to milk to make it alright for humans to have it ... this goes for cheese, yogurt and anything and almost everything that has milk ... people that have milk allergies quickly realize how millk and it's sick ass byproducts are in everything ... whew, I am on a roll ...

www.milksucks.com

So, I am ticked to say the least that my yummy Pumpkin Spice latte has some yucky milk byproduct in it. I need a rockin' coffee maker like Jen or Stacy ... then I can create my own yummy milk-free creations ... Oh, Santa ...

Matthew went to school sick today, he has a really yucky cough ... my kids are cough-till-you-barfers ... which I know I've said before ... I am awaiting a call from his school, Mother of the Year, I am.

I am going to start working more at the Y. I'll be directing their afterschool program (again), worth it for the extra grand a month. I can have both kids with me while I am working, a.k.a. playing ... and I think I've convinced the school district that Matthew's after school drop off can be just up the street at the Y. Nice. I'll still have my mornings with Grace, my Mom's group at church ... and pickin' up some extra money. Awesome.

Thank you Jesus for today, for the blue skies, my blue blog, my sassy and compassionate heart regarding animals and their welfare, my children, my fabulous husband, our adorable yellow house, my job at the YMCA, the bathroom at Safeway and the baked potato and green beans I just ate for lunch. You meet my needs in endless ways Jesus and I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Amen.

Note to self;

Do not go to weigh-in when you wake up and have bled all over your boxer shorts and sheets ... starting your period on the morning you are supposed to go to Weight Watchers will not make for a good weigh-in.

Instead go to Starbucks and get a Pumpkin Spice Soy Latte and sit under a fabulous blanket (thanks Stace!)on the couch and moan until your cramps go away ... this will make you feel better than getting on the scale.

Devotion

This is the Devotion that I received in my email this morning ... This is what life is about, love and grace ...

In faith, I know these things to be true:

• God is full of love and grace, and he fills me with his love and grace.

• God’s work within me is to clear a channel for his love and grace to flow through me into the lives of anyone and everyone I meet.

• I may not be there yet, but I am “confident of this, that he who began a good work in [me] will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6 NIV).

• And I know “God is able to make all grace abound [in me], so that in all things at all times, having all that [I] need, [I] will abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8 NIV).

• He will make my joy complete because I no longer live in darkness, but I now live in the truth and have fellowship with God (1 John 1:4; 1 John 1:6).

• Through the “Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit,” I am, at all times, filled with grace, mercy, and peace (2 Corinthians 13:14 NIV)

It is all so basic really ... I am filled with God's love and I am called to love others, just to love ... not to judge, just to love. Thank you Jesus for your example of the life I am to live. Thank you for the Holy Spirit which fills my entire being. Thank you for love, for the ability to feel and know Your love and the ability to love others, and in by doing so, show them Your love, Your grace ... Amazing Grace.

Sunday

Hmmm, been a week I think since I blogged ... not all that busy but a lot going on ... you know how that is? Even worse, I don't really have anything to show for it ...

I didn't weigh in yesterday ... been fighting a cold all week, which by the way, I think I have won ... and going through my whole week-before-my-period-so-I'm-feeling-weird-and-kinda-crappy-thing ... p.s I ate too many mint oreos ... I told Caloy those can not come into our house ever again!

All is well, I am feeling good this morning. We are heading off to church in a bit, I am interpreting today, and will for the next 2 months probably ... it's a good thing though, gets us all there, which is great.

Yesterday I did a 90 minute Hot Yoga class. It is the most intense and cleansing exercise ... I really do love it. I wish it didn't cost so much, but it is worth every cent ... the room was 101 degrees, and just waiting for the class to start my entire body was soaked. It is a slow moving class, going through all the typical yoga poses ... it is just so calming and peaceful. The teacher is really wonderful and helpful, she has a great voice. There are clearly those in the class that know whats up, what pose comes next and so on ... My Ma and I just hung out in back and followed along ... it is amazing to feel all those toxins being released from your body ... at one point I smelled like onions, which made me kinda giggle ... a friend told me that smell is directly related to an organ and it detoxing ... hmmmm, wonder which one smells like an onion?

I've gotta work in the garden today, it has just taken over everything and needs to be cut back ... I have 2 canvases to finish painting and I want to go for a nice run this afternoon too ... sounds like a Divine Sunday. I got a great bunch of fruit and veggies from the farmers market yesterday, so I'll chop em' all up and have them ready for the week as well ... oh, and super fun, this Tuesday, I'm gonna meet an old friend for lunch in Denver. We went to HS together ... fun to reconnect with people, thanks Facebook!

Blessings abound and I am thankful, for this day, for our church, for a garden that is out of control and a body that smells like an onion ...

Welcome to Holland

This is a great poem written by Emily Kingsley in 1987. I think about it often ...

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I just sent that to a friend of a friend who has a baby girl that was born with Down's Syndrome. They are faith filled couple and their sweet baby girl will endure heart surgery on September 17th, she is only 2 months old. They are in Holland, as am I, I like it here now ... I enjoy the tulips and the windmills, in fact, since I've never been to Italy, I don't know what I am missing, really. I do know that Holland is a beautiful place to be and I want to invite our friends to join us ...

Pray for baby Lydia on Sept. 17th, for her parents Matt and Jackie, for their family, their marriage, their baby girls healing, and for them to unpack and realize that Holland can be just as fabulous as Italy.