So ...
I weighed in this morning and lost 0.4lbs ... my gut reaction is to say "but" or somehow minimize that loss on the scale ... losing 0.4 brought me to a solid 13lb. loss and for that I am so thankful.
Today at my meeting, I shared my NVS (non-scale victory) ... shaving 20 minutes off my half marathon time ... everyone applauded and I even got a sticker! Another woman, who was a lifetime member was sharing about how she needed to be at the meetings ... and Kay, our leader, said you should change that to "I get to come to meetings." She said we should see Weight Watchers meetings as a time for us, a time to be away, a time to refocus and grow. So true.
I realized something this morning ... when I hit my goal after Matthew was born ... I got to that number on the scale and then it was over ... I didn't go back, I thought I was finished ... I hadn't even started to deal with the reason why I have always struggled with my weight, with my self image.
I am doing so now ... and that makes this time, this journey, this day, this moment, completely different. I have forgiven myself for past failures, I am surrendering daily to my Savior, I am on this weight loss journey for the last time in my life ... this to me is not about a number on the scale, that is simply a tool for motivation to continue in the right direction, but this time it is different.
I am more commited to my Vegan diet than ever before in my life. I am eating to live, not living to eat. Last night I got in a little work out in the basement ... I ran a 1 mile and 1/2, lifted weights and did some sit-ups. While I was laying on the bench doing sit-ups, Grace stood on the end of the bench and kissed me every time I sat up. I thought, this is what this is all about ... being with my family, having a healthy lifestyle, exercising together ... my children don't think twice about mommy working out in the basement and they cheer me on by giving me kisses ... can life get better?
I will never stop going to Weight Watchers meetings. I love an hour to myself on Saturday mornings, to be with other people who are on the same journey I am ... who share the same struggles and share the same victories. I love people applauding my NSV and getting a sticker! I love that I can celebrate a loss of 0.4lbs and people will tell me how great that is.
It is a grand blessing that when I reach lifetime status, I will no longer have to pay for WW, but for the time being, I am going to relish in how different this journey is than ever before in my life ... how different my commitment is, how my healthy I am eating and how I know that my weight issues will never just go away when I see a certain number on the scale. I am learning to deal with my issues through daily surrender. This journey is Divine and I will enjoy every moment ... even a 0.4lb loss! Thank you Jesus.
2 comments:
Jess I am so proud of you. Thirteen pounds is a huge weight loss, nothing to be taken lightly.
Believe it or not I have lost 13 myself. I have to tell myself over and over in my mind, it's not the number, it's how you feel.
I definitely feel fitter. My clothes definitely are looser. I'm wearing clothes I couldn't put on last spring, and they aren't snug at all. THAT is such a good thing, and a GREAT reason to celebrate.
I have found that writing down my thoughts and feelings really helps, as obviously it does you too.
I hope you know YOU were the catalyst for me to get a jump start.
I'm doing it on my own, but Randy is joining me. I am just very conscious of what I put in my mouth, and really listening to my body when it tells me it's had enough.
The absence of large amounts of chocolate have surely helped. I still treat myself once in a while, but now I treat myself to dark chocolate and only a little bit at a time. I take a small bite, enjoy it, and only two little pieces satisfies me.
I think before I stuffed it in so fast I never really had time to enjoy it.
Yes this is a lifetime journey - I want to be healthy for life. I have a lot of reasons to take care of my health - as do you. One of them is probably yelling at you right now to get off the computer!
Happy Mother's Day
P.S. Did you try the iron? You can get it pretty darn cheap at Costco if you have a membership.
I love that you get stickers at your meetings. I wish I could get a sticker every time I accomplished something. I think I need to invent a mom-sticker chart.
No yelling at the kids in the last hour...get a sticker
Didn't forget the load of laundry in the washer...get a sticker
Kids have had a bath in the last week...get a sticker
After about 5 stickers I'd treat myself to a pedi or something...but my nail might grow fungus and rot off before then!!
Your blogs are always motivating and inspirational. What a gift to put your thoughts into such clear words.
I think when you reach 20 lbs you should to buy 2 new pair of shoes...pretty ones!!
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