Even in this ...

God is bigger than my Gracie Lou and the coming challenges ... I went for an amazing run (which is a miracle in and of itself ... that I wanted to exercise instead of plant my face in a 9x13 pan of brownies!) and I wanted to share my Divine experience.

When I started it was cloudy and chilly ... in the 40's probably. I ran towards a park near us and as I turned the corner to head west right into the park, I swear the skies parted and the sun was shining on my face ... even more Divine??? My ipod turned to Amazing Grace. I could have sobbed.

I slowed down and walked to a bench and I sat down in the park and just praised God ... Even in this, He loves Grace more than I can, more than is humanly possible to comprehend. Epilepsy, (deep breath), I can handle. I know this in the core of my soul. Jesus was crucified for me, for my Gracie, for my Matthew and Caloy. Even in this ... another challenge in the life of the Fernandez Family, Even in this ... another trip to Children's Hospital, Even in this ... watching my daughter being sedated and put through a CT Scan, Even in this ... waiting for appointment times, learning new things about something I have no knowledge of, Even in all of this ... my Lord and Savior is king of the flood and He promises to be by my side. He was there in the park, He warmed my face and it felt like it was an 80 degree afternoon as I sat and listened to the words of Amazing Grace.

It is only through God's Amazing Grace that I can be pummeling pillows, sobbing and yelling things you would only hear at a truck stop and then a few hours later be completely at peace. And I am ... even in this.

Thank you Lord for my gut feelings. I know that is Your Holy Spirit moving me. Thank you for Children's Hospital, as we have no fear there, we know that place, and in our previous and ongoing medical struggles with Matthew, You have been preparing us for this round with Gracie. Thank you Lord for my friends and family that are on their knees for me. Thank you Lord for music, for the sunshine that you wrapped my body in as I ran, it was just what I needed to strengthen my soul. Even in this Lord I will turn to you, I will praise You through this storm Jesus. Amen.