Wednesday Morning

Well, I am home again ... Gracie Lou is still sick ... my Ma was supposed to have her today but she is sick now too. Would drinking Lysol be bad? It's just a never ending cycle of gross-bug-sick-barfy-coughs around here.

I had to get to work this morning for a really important DHH department meeting ... (that means Deaf and Hard of Hearing). Here is a little background ...

(I feel like this could be a long blog ... so if you need a cup of coffee, you might wanna get one now).

When I was hired back in October as a Sign Language Interpreter, there were already 7 other interpreters in our department and 2 teachers of the Deaf, one is actually deaf ... does that matter? Nope, just thought I'd add that tidbit. (Told you this was a long one).

One of those teachers of the Deaf was hired new this year too, so we bonded as the "newbies". I interpret in 2 of her classes as well, so we had lots of time to talk ... she is a Christian and an amazing woman with great experiences to share. I also shared with her the various interpreting experiences I have had ... short of the drive-thru with my husband, that doesn't count as an "interpreting experience" but a bonus for being married to me!

Where I had interpreted in CA at CSUF we had evaluations. We had an in-house evaluation to see our performance skills, teachers filled out evaluations about the services we provided in their classrooms, and the students evaluated us. Not like a "yea, my interpreter sucks!" evaluation but like this;
-Is your Interpreter on time?
-Does your Interpreter dress appropriately? (meaning no crazy colors or prints or jewelry ... this is distracting to Deaf people while trying to watch you for hours ... understandable right?
-Do you feel confident in the skills of your Interpreter; when you are called on in class or you ask a question, Do you feel your Interpreter voices for you appropriately and without hesitation?

Questions like that ... it was all about the students at a collegiate level having the ability to advocate for themselves and so on.

Soooo ... little miss newbie brought that up once ... or twice. "Why aren't there evaluations here?" Little did I know that I was about to rock the boat in a HUGE way ... not just rock, but quite possibly flip the entire boat over and have everyone scrambling for a life vest.

I got the evaluations from CSUF in CA and the 2 teachers and I made a bunch of modifications ... clearly things meant for college students were not fitting for a 12 year old ... but still the main purpose is this was advocating and teaching these students those skills, collaboration with the mainstream teachers that we are with and as informational data for our supervisors ... not a big deal right???

Shoot, it was a HUGE deal ... and still is ... that was what our meeting was about this morning and now the Administration is in on it ... good thing is they appreciate what I am doing and are completely on board with me and the 2 teachers ... while still the others are fighting over their life vests and the water is getting choppier by the minute.

The other interpreters are so mad about this ...
"You don't understand what we have fought for in the district!" "We want to be treated as equals" "This will give a teacher all the power" ... and I am thinking to myself, "Self ... what are they scared of???" Everything they talk about is regarding years past. Today at the meeting the Vice Principal said, "is this or that happening this year? No? Ok, Lets move on ... we are talking about now ... let that go." I wanted to yell, "AMEN!" They were saying "we think this and that" and I had to raise my hand and say, "I am not part of the WE and I am sorry but I disagree".

Yeah ... then a huge wave came and the boat that was rocked over was pushed farther out to sea, man, if looks could kill?#@$!

Finally one interpreter said, "well I've been having problems since the beginning of the year with one teacher" and I said "wow, glad you brought that up in march!" Hmmm ... that didn't go over too well either. I just don't get the lack of communication at the school, how completely overwhelmingly negative they all are ... the glass isn't only half-full, but it is dirty sea water with grunge and trash floating on the top!

Good thing is that the VP is behind these new evaluations and it very appreciative of my input. Is this why God brought me to that school? To change things and make it better for those children, so they will learn to advocate for themselves and collaboration with mainstream teachers will improve? Goodness ... it's been an interesting ordeal, to say the least.

But another thing hit me when I was driving home ... Why is it that I can so easily tell the others to move forward from their past ... to look ahead and not waste energy looking back?

I need to do that in my own life. If I can do so at work, then I need to do so with my own personal story ... my own experiences that have nothing to do with interpreting ... my childhood, my relationships, my experiences that have left me with extra weight to carry ... forgiving myself for my wrong doings and failures.

I just answered my own question ... through this job and this lesson, God is teaching me to do so in my own life, my own past. I remember when I met Caloy and 3 or 4 months into our relationship and I had a heart-to-heart with him about my past ... I wanted to lay it all out on the table ... and afterwards he shrugged his shoulders and told me "the past is the past ... we will move forward together". So simple, so profound and so true.

I hope the interpreters will move on, they will see this change as something positive for our role at the school ... they'll reach their life vests, climb back into the boat and we will row onward. (Nice analogy huh?) My prayer is that this lesson will resonate in my own life ... that I too will forgive myself, not look backward, or if I do ... to only see how far I have come and how much God has changed my life. I will look back thankfully only, from this moment forward.

Thank you Lord for this lesson in my life ... again for my blog and safe place to write about my struggles and everyday life. THIS is the day that You have made Lord, I will rejoice and be glad ... if I look back Lord, let it be with a thankful heart for all You have rescued me from. Lord, let me be a light of encouragement at my job, let me lead by example, so those that look at me know that You live in my heart and soul. Amen.
(P.S. Sorry this was so long, but you were warned!)