"Snowy days and Wednesdays ...

always get me down." ... Remember the song "Rainy days and Mondays" by The Carpenters? I sang that as a solo, yes ... me and a microphone on stage ... when I was a senior in High School ... I have it on tape ... it's pretty disturbing ... not my voice, ha, but how I was staring at my then boyfriend who was sitting in the 1st row ... and I think I was wearing something slightly horrific ... ahhh, the early 90's.

What up with the weather around here huh? On Monday my family was at the park and I could have gotten a sun burn ... and today, we are inside and I could get frostbite ... shoot, Colorado has some crazy weather.

I do love that my new trees are beginning to bloom ... I have a purple lilac too that is starting to bud ... fabulous ... although I hope they don't freeze tonight! Does the word "bloom" only relate to flowers? What is the word when the leaves grow back? Maybe I do have frostbite ... in my brain.

Caloy got the word this week that the job he interviewed for at the Denver Foundation was given to someone else. I am bummed and Caloy is fine with it. He is very black and white about all of this ... he shrugs his shoulders and tells me God just has something else for him. When I get bummed the "what ifs" of it all flood my frostbitten brain.

What if he doesn't get a full time job and I have to continue interpreting again next school year?
What if he only finds part time temp jobs and the chaos of my life will swallow me up whole?
What if ... what if ... what if.

That is just the downward spiral that satan is waiting for me to fall into. satan sucks. That spiral, which I have been down one too many times leads to overeating and all sorts of trouble. I am getting good at identifying it all at least ... and I know better than to allow myself to even dangle my toe over the edge of that downward spiral, it only leads to chaos and a face full of brownies.

Mmmm ... brownies.

Just kidding.

Kind of.

Ha.

So, my husband is at the Nuggets game (for my non sports minded friends ... that is the Denver NBA team) ... and I am home with the monkeys who are destroying the house ... Grace was just putting pretzel sticks in a DVD case ... and Matthew has made a tent out of everything we own ... Star Wars in on TV. We just recently introduced Matthew to Star Wars. He loves it ... is that surprising?

Thank you Lord for the change in the weather ... it makes me appreciate the sunshine even more. Thank you Lord for my lilac that is starting to bloom ... it makes me think of my Grandma and their smell is nothing short of Divine. Thank you Lord for the job my husband currently has, and for all of the unknown that is to come Lord, I will find peace in knowing that You know. Thank you Lord for my husband's Faith that is inspiring to me. He just accepts what You promise without the "what ifs" of life taking over. Thank you Lord for the pretzels that Grace shoved into a DVD case ... this means we are blessed to have food and movies even. Thank you Lord for the creativity that radiates through Matthew ... he is quite the tent builder. Thank you Lord for loving every part of me, every doubt and what if. You know the questions at the depth of my heart and for that I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Amen.