At what point in my life did "The Head Game" start? Did I sign up to play somewhere? Maybe after a few too many pitchers of horribly cheap beer at Mr. B's (when I was about 19) ... did a clip board come by and I put my name on a list to be a player in "The Head Game" ... was my drunk-19-year-old-self thinking "Sure, I like games ... "The Head Game" that sounds like fun!" Maybe I didn't read the small print and realize this would be on going the rest of my life???
Maybe I've always been playing "The Head Game" ... just sometimes I pay it more attention than others? Was I born playing the game? Do we all play the game?
What is it with my self-image ... that the voice I hear in my head, the voice that is continually playing "The Game" ... the one that is overwhelmingly negative and judgmental, the voice that is NOT of my God ... knowing it is NOT of love, NOT of my Savior and why do I give it a second thought?
Maybe by blogging about it, acknowledging it in such a public manner ... "it" will go away??? I highly doubt it ... there is a part of me that is used to "The Head Game" ... it is strangely familiar and horribly comfortable??? Is that possible? I've become a good player, maybe the best ... can I conquer the game? Does someone actually win it eventually? Will balloons and confetti fall from the sky at some point??? (sigh)
I can remember playing "The Head Game" many times throughout my life ... once I can remember clearly ... when I was in 8th grade. I felt the need to be on Jenny Craig. My parents took me to the place in Los Alamitos, and I remember getting food and talking with some woman about needing to lose weight. When I look back at pictures of myself and friends at that time in my life ... WE ALL LOOKED THE SAME. Ok, I had bigger boobs, but I always have ... I was a little more tom-boy-ish ... but again, I always have been. Why did I feel the need to play the game? Where did that come from? I am really praying about the answer to that question ... will discovering the answer allow me to stop playing the game finally???
I don't want to play "The Head Game" anymore ... I don't want to hear the voice ... "Are you really going to eat that?" "Just have one, give in, it doesn't matter ... "
"The Head Game" goes on and on ... daily, moment by moment ... it is ONLY a daily surrender to my God that I can stop playing ... that I can focus for that moment on what God wants for my life, for my health and for my body ... that's all that really matters.
Your will be done Lord ... I know "The Head Game" is not what you want for me. Tomorrow is a new day and again my first thought in the morning will be a prayer in which everything I have, everything I do, I pray it will glorify only You.
Forgive me for the moments that I am playing the game, that I am listening, if even for a moment, to the voice in my head ... as it sometimes can drown out Your voice in my heart.
My hands are raised to You, holding the game ... can you see it Lord? Here it is in the box ... the box is torn ... the edges are bent, the corners are taped, I've been holding onto it for a very very long time. Every piece, every card, all the dice and the directions which I have read over and over again. I know them by heart. I am giving You this game now Lord, for You to destroy, so I am free ... free from "The Head Game". I want to be free. Amen.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The Dentist ...
Hmmm ... not my favorite place to go ... the smell, the sounds ... makes me shiver.
I went yesterday since my dentist said, "this one you better take care of soon or it will be a root canal" ... yikes! One tooth being drilled, lead to another ... "why not, you are numb already" ... which lead to a third! ARGH! If my foot could reach back and I could kick my own #@$! I would! That's what happens when you don't go to the dentist ... um ... ever.
I had a great dentist when I was growing up ... Dr. Glass. I never had a bad experience ... there isn't anything I can remember happening that would make me dislike the dentist so much now ... maybe it is the cost of everything? the smell? I can't get that out of my head ... the sounds ... metal grinding? Whew, I am shivering again. Yuck. Can anyone relate???
Anyhow, after an almost 2 1/2 hour ordeal ... I went home completely numb, drooling on myself, took some Tylenol PM and I was out ... at 6:30. Awesome. I woke up to the same feelings, soo sore and wanting to rip off the right half of my head ... that I am home in bed, watching the Price is Right and blogging ... maybe the dentist isn't so bad after all ... more Tylenol and a solid nap is what I need.
Night-night.
I went yesterday since my dentist said, "this one you better take care of soon or it will be a root canal" ... yikes! One tooth being drilled, lead to another ... "why not, you are numb already" ... which lead to a third! ARGH! If my foot could reach back and I could kick my own #@$! I would! That's what happens when you don't go to the dentist ... um ... ever.
I had a great dentist when I was growing up ... Dr. Glass. I never had a bad experience ... there isn't anything I can remember happening that would make me dislike the dentist so much now ... maybe it is the cost of everything? the smell? I can't get that out of my head ... the sounds ... metal grinding? Whew, I am shivering again. Yuck. Can anyone relate???
Anyhow, after an almost 2 1/2 hour ordeal ... I went home completely numb, drooling on myself, took some Tylenol PM and I was out ... at 6:30. Awesome. I woke up to the same feelings, soo sore and wanting to rip off the right half of my head ... that I am home in bed, watching the Price is Right and blogging ... maybe the dentist isn't so bad after all ... more Tylenol and a solid nap is what I need.
Night-night.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Simple things
Simple things are really what make my day Divine ... simple things that just shine of God's good works ... simple things that make me smile and laugh, there is nothing greater for my healing soul.
As I type this I am on my bedroom floor watching my beautiful children play in the bathtub. Gracie is dumping water from one thing into another ... I can hardly believe she can see what she is doing with her hair all over her sweet face ... her cheeks are red, hmmm ... maybe the water is too warm? Matthew is playing with foam pirates ... sitting there together, angels they are.
Simple things. Bath toys. Everyone should have them ... no matter what age. We have a great toy monkey ... you wind his arms up and he swims freestyle across the tub. I love taking baths with my kids, making bubble beards and splashing water. Who ever decided that splashing was a bad thing? Some old man probably ... a man who never had bath toys.
On friday as I was going to work, I decided a Starbucks stop for a soy chai was the perfect way to start my day ... the register was shutting down when any debit cards where being used, so when I presented mine to the nice Starbucks lady ... don't they have a fancy name? Oh, Barista? Right? She tried my card and again the system went down, so I got my sweet little soy chai for free. I smiled up at God and thanked Him for my free warm drink of yumminess. Simple things.
"Nausea, heart-burn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea" ... you know that commercial? Can you imagine some high paid advertising executives (who probably didn't get a free soy chai) sitting around a big mahogany table in suits that are all some wicked shade of dark blue ... and someone says, "I have a new jingle for peptol bismol" (I think I spelled that wrong ... but you all know what I mean, that liquid pink chalk in a plastic bottle!). Everytime I see that commercial I laugh out loud ... and I hope you will too now. Then some stiff suit says, "Yes, that is a great song, I know we can make up a dance to go with it!" "Yes, when they sing diarrhea, they'll grab their butts!" Hahahaha ... hilarious. Simple things that make me laugh are Divine.
Gotta get my shriveled angels out of the tub now. One more thing ...
My Ma works at Longmont United Hospital as a CNA ... which is her calling, I've never seen her in action, but I know she is so kind and loving to everyone she comes into contact with. While working at the hospital she has met an amazing woman named Anita. I have yet to meet Anita, but from all I have heard she is an angel. My Ma knows she got the job at the hospital just to meet Anita. Anita spoke these words to my Ma, and she shared with me ...
I let the peace of God rule in my heart and I refuse to worry about anything. Col. 3:15
Simple word, refuse ... I too will refuse to worry ... as my Daddy once said, it is the opposite of Faith.
Simple. Simple things. I am thankful for them all.
Amen.
As I type this I am on my bedroom floor watching my beautiful children play in the bathtub. Gracie is dumping water from one thing into another ... I can hardly believe she can see what she is doing with her hair all over her sweet face ... her cheeks are red, hmmm ... maybe the water is too warm? Matthew is playing with foam pirates ... sitting there together, angels they are.
Simple things. Bath toys. Everyone should have them ... no matter what age. We have a great toy monkey ... you wind his arms up and he swims freestyle across the tub. I love taking baths with my kids, making bubble beards and splashing water. Who ever decided that splashing was a bad thing? Some old man probably ... a man who never had bath toys.
On friday as I was going to work, I decided a Starbucks stop for a soy chai was the perfect way to start my day ... the register was shutting down when any debit cards where being used, so when I presented mine to the nice Starbucks lady ... don't they have a fancy name? Oh, Barista? Right? She tried my card and again the system went down, so I got my sweet little soy chai for free. I smiled up at God and thanked Him for my free warm drink of yumminess. Simple things.
"Nausea, heart-burn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea" ... you know that commercial? Can you imagine some high paid advertising executives (who probably didn't get a free soy chai) sitting around a big mahogany table in suits that are all some wicked shade of dark blue ... and someone says, "I have a new jingle for peptol bismol" (I think I spelled that wrong ... but you all know what I mean, that liquid pink chalk in a plastic bottle!). Everytime I see that commercial I laugh out loud ... and I hope you will too now. Then some stiff suit says, "Yes, that is a great song, I know we can make up a dance to go with it!" "Yes, when they sing diarrhea, they'll grab their butts!" Hahahaha ... hilarious. Simple things that make me laugh are Divine.
Gotta get my shriveled angels out of the tub now. One more thing ...
My Ma works at Longmont United Hospital as a CNA ... which is her calling, I've never seen her in action, but I know she is so kind and loving to everyone she comes into contact with. While working at the hospital she has met an amazing woman named Anita. I have yet to meet Anita, but from all I have heard she is an angel. My Ma knows she got the job at the hospital just to meet Anita. Anita spoke these words to my Ma, and she shared with me ...
I let the peace of God rule in my heart and I refuse to worry about anything. Col. 3:15
Simple word, refuse ... I too will refuse to worry ... as my Daddy once said, it is the opposite of Faith.
Simple. Simple things. I am thankful for them all.
Amen.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Blah ...
Whew, have I got a case of the "blahs" ... just blah ... blah-blah-blah-bity-blah-blah ...hormonal probably, wanting nothing more than jammies, a good cup of tea and my bed, oh and maybe some trashy tv. I think I am getting sick. The kids have both been sick, so it would be the natural progression if I got sick next right? As long as it stops with me and Caloy doesn't get sick. I think I've written about that before ... men are such wieners when they get sick.
I love trying to get my husband's attention when the tea kettle is whistling (side-note) ... I need to invent a tea kettle with a blinking light. Yes, that's the ticket ... tea for Deafies. I'm awesome. I'll make a prototype by taping a flashlight on mine. Don't anyone go and steal my idea now!
I finished reading a book today ... Interpreting has a lot of down time ... today one of my student's was taking a test, so I read my book for about an hour. Nice huh? The book is called "90 minutes in Heaven" by Don Piper. This man, Reverend Piper died in 1989 in a horrible car crash, went to Heaven and then came back to life 90 minutes later. It was an amazing book. He describes all he remembers from Heaven and his life before and after the accident. If you are in need of a good read ... I highly suggest that book.
Ahhh, country peach tea is ready for my sippin' lips. Thank you Lord for the blahs ... after the rain the sun seems to shine so much brighter. Thank you for my peach tea Lord, for the sweetness of a simple fruit, Thank you for my brilliant tea for deafies idea ... I'll run that by my husband and will expect his eyes to roll back in his head ... Thank you Lord for my children who are screaming at each other right now ... and for the blanket keeping me warm and wrapped up tightly around my legs so I can't jump up and stop them.
"No hitting Gracie Lou~ No Ma'am!!"
Thank you Lord for this day, for all the blessings that make my cup continue to overflow ... blahs and all. Amen.
I love trying to get my husband's attention when the tea kettle is whistling (side-note) ... I need to invent a tea kettle with a blinking light. Yes, that's the ticket ... tea for Deafies. I'm awesome. I'll make a prototype by taping a flashlight on mine. Don't anyone go and steal my idea now!
I finished reading a book today ... Interpreting has a lot of down time ... today one of my student's was taking a test, so I read my book for about an hour. Nice huh? The book is called "90 minutes in Heaven" by Don Piper. This man, Reverend Piper died in 1989 in a horrible car crash, went to Heaven and then came back to life 90 minutes later. It was an amazing book. He describes all he remembers from Heaven and his life before and after the accident. If you are in need of a good read ... I highly suggest that book.
Ahhh, country peach tea is ready for my sippin' lips. Thank you Lord for the blahs ... after the rain the sun seems to shine so much brighter. Thank you for my peach tea Lord, for the sweetness of a simple fruit, Thank you for my brilliant tea for deafies idea ... I'll run that by my husband and will expect his eyes to roll back in his head ... Thank you Lord for my children who are screaming at each other right now ... and for the blanket keeping me warm and wrapped up tightly around my legs so I can't jump up and stop them.
"No hitting Gracie Lou~ No Ma'am!!"
Thank you Lord for this day, for all the blessings that make my cup continue to overflow ... blahs and all. Amen.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Addiction
So, I was thinking the other day ...
about my brother and his sobriety. He is really doing amazing. We had a family dinner, my Uncle was in town, and it was the 1st dinner I can EVER recall that there was NO alcohol. My Uncle is a recovering alcoholic too and has really been pivotal in Loren's recovery. We all still laughed and had a great time and there was no one drinking! It was really something. I had to sit back for a moment and really take a mental picture of my family, all we have been through and where we are now. God is in the business of making miracles and my family is the evidence.
My brother in his daily recovery and sobriety has to surrender the desire to use heroin and crack cocaine. Daily. He has to give up the need to buy something to drink. He knows what it would lead to, he knows that it would kill him, he was already at death's door, and Loren is choosing life ... everyday, he surrenders it all. I am so proud of him. God has His grasp firmly around my brother's heart and I am so thankful.
I looked up the definition of "addiction" ... and here it is:
Addiction was a term used to describe a devotion, attachment, dedication, inclination, etc. Nowadays, however, the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in "some specific activity", despite harmful consequences to the individual's health, mental state or social life.
What really struck me about that definition is the "some specific activity" ... thinking of my brother I could put in drug and alcohol use ... and thinking of myself I could put in overeating. It is a compulsion, it does have harmful consequences to my health, mental state and social life.
That is a HUGE realization for me. I too, like my brother need to focus on recovery, choose life, and daily surrender this struggle.
Thank you Lord for my brother, for his recovery and what it is teaching me about my own journey to health and healing. You promise to use all things for good Lord, for those who love you ... I do love you and I know that it is only You that can use my own struggles for good. Amen.
about my brother and his sobriety. He is really doing amazing. We had a family dinner, my Uncle was in town, and it was the 1st dinner I can EVER recall that there was NO alcohol. My Uncle is a recovering alcoholic too and has really been pivotal in Loren's recovery. We all still laughed and had a great time and there was no one drinking! It was really something. I had to sit back for a moment and really take a mental picture of my family, all we have been through and where we are now. God is in the business of making miracles and my family is the evidence.
My brother in his daily recovery and sobriety has to surrender the desire to use heroin and crack cocaine. Daily. He has to give up the need to buy something to drink. He knows what it would lead to, he knows that it would kill him, he was already at death's door, and Loren is choosing life ... everyday, he surrenders it all. I am so proud of him. God has His grasp firmly around my brother's heart and I am so thankful.
I looked up the definition of "addiction" ... and here it is:
Addiction was a term used to describe a devotion, attachment, dedication, inclination, etc. Nowadays, however, the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in "some specific activity", despite harmful consequences to the individual's health, mental state or social life.
What really struck me about that definition is the "some specific activity" ... thinking of my brother I could put in drug and alcohol use ... and thinking of myself I could put in overeating. It is a compulsion, it does have harmful consequences to my health, mental state and social life.
That is a HUGE realization for me. I too, like my brother need to focus on recovery, choose life, and daily surrender this struggle.
Thank you Lord for my brother, for his recovery and what it is teaching me about my own journey to health and healing. You promise to use all things for good Lord, for those who love you ... I do love you and I know that it is only You that can use my own struggles for good. Amen.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sloop Soup
Thanks to my dear friend, whom I will call PP ... for reasons she knows ... still one of my most favorite stories in the universe ... I wanted to share with everyone my favorite veggie soup recipe. PP made it for me when I was sick and pregnant, as I recall, and I don't recall much from that time ... it's amazing!!!
Today was a good day ... finally got my permanent crown on my tooth that broke a billion years ago. It's taken me way too long, a root canal, crown lengthening and so on to get it taken care of ... and yes today was the last step! Yipeee! I suppose the dental assistants would have been talking about me ... if they could ... like the Vietnamese pedicure girls ... you know they are talking about your funky feet right in front of you ... only in Vietnamese, so you have no clue. Right? Shoot, if I had to clean toes all day, I'd be talking about them too ... the dental assistants were speaking in Spanish sometimes ... maybe they were discussing my lack of dental care in the last 10 years ... who knows.
So ... a new toof I have ... and I can safely eat a Jelly Belly, or two, without fearing it will come out. Then, I went to work at the Y. I was off from interpreting today ... but got in some good Y time too. I love working there ... not only because I told my boss about my blog today and she may read this at some time and read my entry about working at the Y ... but it's just a great place to be. If only they had full time hours and insurance ... is that still in the works G? :)
I went to the store to get what I needed for Sloop Soup ... made it when I came home ... Caloy and I watched a movie while the kiddies were napping at the same time (both are still coughing and barfing with temps) ... we watched Mr. Woodcock, it was pretty funny ... ate Sloop Soup and had a grand afternoon.
Matthew and I made some Vegan chocolate chip cookies, which are divine ... "How do you make Vegan cookies?" you ask? Same as normal, minus the butter and eggs ... they are yummy! Giradelli's semi-sweet chocolate chips are vegan too.
All together an entirely blessed day. Lord you are so good. Thank you for the soreness in my shoulders today, for my children who fought to stand together on a chair to help me bake, for my husband and his continuing support of my goal of a healthier lifestyle, for my dear friend PP and the Sloop Soup, for the goldfish that are scattered all over the kitchen table and floor which means we have food to eat, and the dishes stacked a mile high in the sink which means I have a home to wash them in ... I am so blessed Lord.
Sloop Soup
Today was a good day ... finally got my permanent crown on my tooth that broke a billion years ago. It's taken me way too long, a root canal, crown lengthening and so on to get it taken care of ... and yes today was the last step! Yipeee! I suppose the dental assistants would have been talking about me ... if they could ... like the Vietnamese pedicure girls ... you know they are talking about your funky feet right in front of you ... only in Vietnamese, so you have no clue. Right? Shoot, if I had to clean toes all day, I'd be talking about them too ... the dental assistants were speaking in Spanish sometimes ... maybe they were discussing my lack of dental care in the last 10 years ... who knows.
So ... a new toof I have ... and I can safely eat a Jelly Belly, or two, without fearing it will come out. Then, I went to work at the Y. I was off from interpreting today ... but got in some good Y time too. I love working there ... not only because I told my boss about my blog today and she may read this at some time and read my entry about working at the Y ... but it's just a great place to be. If only they had full time hours and insurance ... is that still in the works G? :)
I went to the store to get what I needed for Sloop Soup ... made it when I came home ... Caloy and I watched a movie while the kiddies were napping at the same time (both are still coughing and barfing with temps) ... we watched Mr. Woodcock, it was pretty funny ... ate Sloop Soup and had a grand afternoon.
Matthew and I made some Vegan chocolate chip cookies, which are divine ... "How do you make Vegan cookies?" you ask? Same as normal, minus the butter and eggs ... they are yummy! Giradelli's semi-sweet chocolate chips are vegan too.
All together an entirely blessed day. Lord you are so good. Thank you for the soreness in my shoulders today, for my children who fought to stand together on a chair to help me bake, for my husband and his continuing support of my goal of a healthier lifestyle, for my dear friend PP and the Sloop Soup, for the goldfish that are scattered all over the kitchen table and floor which means we have food to eat, and the dishes stacked a mile high in the sink which means I have a home to wash them in ... I am so blessed Lord.
Sloop Soup
- 3 potatoes, chopped (I used 5 small red potatoes and left the skin on)
- 1/2lb of green beans, chopped
- 3 carrots, chopped
- 1 medium onion
- Salt and pepper
- 2 quarts veggie broth (or chicken juice)
- 1/2lb zucchini, sliced
- 1 16oz can of kidney beans
- 4 cloves of garlic, mashed
- 1 6oz can of tomato paste
- 1 tbsp dried basil
- 1/2 c. Parmesan cheese (I didn't use this ... but you sure can!)
- 1/2 c. chopped parsley ( I used fresh, but you can use dried)
- 1/4c. olive oil
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Stale coffee, corn chips and dirty socks ...
Stale coffee ... like the kind that has been at the bottom of the pot for a few days and in desperate need of a pick-me-up, you decide to microwave it, only to taste grunge and grit! Corn chips, not good fresh ones ... corn chips from a gas station in the middle of nowhere that probably expired 3 years ago, and socks ... dirty man socks ... the kind that you smell and make you gag!
Yes, that was the smell of Dave, the boxer that owns the gym that I went to today. He is a great guy, from the East Coast, who smelled like the previous description, foamed at the mouth when he got excited and had greasy hair. He was awesome!!! He cussed like a trucker, but he has a heart of gold ... salt-of-the-earth-kinda-guy! Dave was fabulous.
We worked out in the ring ... an actual boxing ring ... throwing jabs and crosses, it was phenomenal! We then went to the heavy bags and speed bags ... you know the little ones that hang from a platform? I actually did it, and it was super exciting! Gotta get into the right rhythm or you can end up punching the air and completely missing! We did some shadow-boxing in front of a mirror and jump roping too. It was really a cool experience. I want to get a satin robe that says "Jabbin' Jess" on it! Whaddya think? Hot pink satin! YES! Ok, guess I better go to a few more lessons before I really get in the ring.
Thank you Lord for Dave, for his heart, for his knowledge and for his confidence. He is a strong man Lord and he is faithfully using the talents you have given him. Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to recharge my workout. Keep me safe Lord as I strive to box one-on-one ... Eye of the Tiger in the background ... "And in this corner ... weighing in at 145 lbs ... Little Jabbin' Jessie ... " "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Can you hear the crowd? Lord you are so good to me. May I continue to praise you with every breath ...
Amen.
Yes, that was the smell of Dave, the boxer that owns the gym that I went to today. He is a great guy, from the East Coast, who smelled like the previous description, foamed at the mouth when he got excited and had greasy hair. He was awesome!!! He cussed like a trucker, but he has a heart of gold ... salt-of-the-earth-kinda-guy! Dave was fabulous.
We worked out in the ring ... an actual boxing ring ... throwing jabs and crosses, it was phenomenal! We then went to the heavy bags and speed bags ... you know the little ones that hang from a platform? I actually did it, and it was super exciting! Gotta get into the right rhythm or you can end up punching the air and completely missing! We did some shadow-boxing in front of a mirror and jump roping too. It was really a cool experience. I want to get a satin robe that says "Jabbin' Jess" on it! Whaddya think? Hot pink satin! YES! Ok, guess I better go to a few more lessons before I really get in the ring.
Thank you Lord for Dave, for his heart, for his knowledge and for his confidence. He is a strong man Lord and he is faithfully using the talents you have given him. Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to recharge my workout. Keep me safe Lord as I strive to box one-on-one ... Eye of the Tiger in the background ... "And in this corner ... weighing in at 145 lbs ... Little Jabbin' Jessie ... " "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Can you hear the crowd? Lord you are so good to me. May I continue to praise you with every breath ...
Amen.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Cough till you barf ...
Yes, my kiddies are the "cough till you barf" kind ... both of them, red faced, coughing so hard till they throw up ... weird really that they both do that. Grace has another cold now and just had a little "ctyb" episode in the basement. It's horribly sad, their little faces ... I can do all the back patting and offering something to drink, but it isn't better till they barf.
The funk sure is going around ... time of year, the chill in the air, the middle school germies I am sure to be bringing home daily. I can get sick and the kids can ... but if Caloy does ... shoot, the world is surely coming to an end. Why are men such weiners when they get sick? Unreal. He is not sick now, but now that I have written this, sure enough he will be sick tomorrow morning ... I better find some wood and knock on it.
Thank you Lord for soft kleenex to wipe my baby girl's raw nose, thank you for Matthew and his quick observation ... "Mom, Grace has boobers!" ... (part of me thinks, ahhh, yes she does, and so does mommy, then I realize he means booGers!) and I will thank you Lord IN ADVANCE for my husband and his health, for his clear lungs and nose. Please don't let him get sick! Amen.
The funk sure is going around ... time of year, the chill in the air, the middle school germies I am sure to be bringing home daily. I can get sick and the kids can ... but if Caloy does ... shoot, the world is surely coming to an end. Why are men such weiners when they get sick? Unreal. He is not sick now, but now that I have written this, sure enough he will be sick tomorrow morning ... I better find some wood and knock on it.
Thank you Lord for soft kleenex to wipe my baby girl's raw nose, thank you for Matthew and his quick observation ... "Mom, Grace has boobers!" ... (part of me thinks, ahhh, yes she does, and so does mommy, then I realize he means booGers!) and I will thank you Lord IN ADVANCE for my husband and his health, for his clear lungs and nose. Please don't let him get sick! Amen.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Eye of the Tiger!
The other day I was thinking about after I had Matthew and the great success I had getting back into shape ... I was kickboxing 3 to 4 times a week! I have been running lots and am down a little more than 6lbs and I wanna kick it up a bit. Soooo, I looked into a boxing place I have seen in Boulder. Front Range Boxing ... and this little place was the craziest hole in the wall-funky-Rocky Balboa-place I'd ever been before! It was awesome. It has 2 boxing rings, bags hanging from every place possible ... I could almost hear "Eye of the Tiger" playing in the background. Caloy and I are going for a free trial this Sunday! The owner is this awesome-down-to-earth boxer guy ... named Dave. The kinda guy that makes quick friends ... he was a former world champion and was trained by the same guy that trained Marvelous Marvin Haggard ( I think thats how you spell his name).
Anyhow, it was awesome. I can see myself getting really involved, taking classes or just going to spar ... they have tournaments as well. Me in a boxing ring? I LOVE IT. I'll keep you all posted ... seems like great fun and I can hardly wait ... a 31 year old boxing mama! Yes!!!
Anyhow, it was awesome. I can see myself getting really involved, taking classes or just going to spar ... they have tournaments as well. Me in a boxing ring? I LOVE IT. I'll keep you all posted ... seems like great fun and I can hardly wait ... a 31 year old boxing mama! Yes!!!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
How can you sell dirt?
In my new journey of healthful eating ... not a new journey, a renewed journey, a surrendered journey ... I ordered a Vegan shake meal replacement online ... I had read a lot about it and thought I'd just try a sample package ... before investing in the tub that is the size of my daughter!
It arrived ... from Canada I think ... which should have been the 1st red flag ... right?
Well, this morning I tasted it and ...
IT TASTED LIKE DIRT ... as if I had licked the bottom of my shoe or my car tires or the inside of a fireplace ... IT WAS SOOOO DISGUSTING! Really? Canadians? You can sell dirt? Really?
What is it about something gross ... tasting or smelling ... and the need to have another person verify it? "WOW that stinks ... here, smell it!" Right? We've all done it ... either being the 1st person or the 2nd ... and we do it still ... "Really it smells bad? Lemme smell it." What is wrong with us???
Of course I had to have Caloy taste the dirt-vegan-#$@%-Canadian-concoction, only to verify my findings ... of course. I told him I made him a shake this morning and I had already had mine ... so he went into the kitchen, in my eye sight, I HAD to see his reaction ... and whew ... it was just like mine! It's amazing how clearly my Deaf husband can speak when he doesn't like something ... He can't say my name, but he could sure describe the taste of the dirt shake. Hahaha, it was quite funny.
Thank you Lord for my taste buds ... for the ability to tell if something tastes like the asphalt on my street or a yummy chocolate soy shake. Thank you Lord for my husband and his willingness to try just about anything ... He is such a good man, snowshoeing disaster and all, I love him so much Lord. Thank you for my funny children, for our family and friends and for the love you continually surround us with ... and Lord please don't let the Canadians sell dirt any more. Amen.
It arrived ... from Canada I think ... which should have been the 1st red flag ... right?
Well, this morning I tasted it and ...
IT TASTED LIKE DIRT ... as if I had licked the bottom of my shoe or my car tires or the inside of a fireplace ... IT WAS SOOOO DISGUSTING! Really? Canadians? You can sell dirt? Really?
What is it about something gross ... tasting or smelling ... and the need to have another person verify it? "WOW that stinks ... here, smell it!" Right? We've all done it ... either being the 1st person or the 2nd ... and we do it still ... "Really it smells bad? Lemme smell it." What is wrong with us???
Of course I had to have Caloy taste the dirt-vegan-#$@%-Canadian-concoction, only to verify my findings ... of course. I told him I made him a shake this morning and I had already had mine ... so he went into the kitchen, in my eye sight, I HAD to see his reaction ... and whew ... it was just like mine! It's amazing how clearly my Deaf husband can speak when he doesn't like something ... He can't say my name, but he could sure describe the taste of the dirt shake. Hahaha, it was quite funny.
Thank you Lord for my taste buds ... for the ability to tell if something tastes like the asphalt on my street or a yummy chocolate soy shake. Thank you Lord for my husband and his willingness to try just about anything ... He is such a good man, snowshoeing disaster and all, I love him so much Lord. Thank you for my funny children, for our family and friends and for the love you continually surround us with ... and Lord please don't let the Canadians sell dirt any more. Amen.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Spidey to the rescue!
Spider man, spider man, da-da-dada-da-da-dada ... however it goes ... are you humming the tune in your head??? Ha, me too.
This morning as Matthew was getting ready for school, we noticed as we were changing one of his hearing aid batteries that the back battery door on his aid was broken. Urgh. This has happened before ... but being the "Mother of the Year" that I am, I don't remember which aid is was ... it could very well be the same one ... but again maybe not ...
We have some rockin' SpiderMan bandaids though ... and they sure came to the rescue, cutting them just so to seal off the back of his hearing aid, and looking mighty stylish as well ... Matthew was quite excited anyhow.
This all indicates something I have been waiting for in recent months ... it is time finally ... for new hearing aids. (sigh)
Matthew has had the current pair since he was diagnosed when he was 2, and I suppose the life of hearing aids isn't that great ... it is a small electronic gadget more or less ... Have you ever had a cell phone last for more than 4 years? Things are always updated and so on ... as people get nerdier and find smaller, more fancy-shmancy ways of dorking up the world.
And, yes ... I needed to spend $4,000 on something right? ... %$#@ ... so yipeeee skipeee ... it will be new hearing aids. (can you sense sarcasm in a blog?)
At school Matthew wears a "trainer" that is like a backwards backpack on his chest, with 2 cords that boot into his hearing aids ... so the FM system the teacher is wearing goes directly into his little ears ... He was quick to tell me today that he only wore ONE boot with his trainer since the other aid was broken. I guess in kindergarten kids are enjoying what their teachers have to say and want to hear all parts of the story ... shoot, I have kids at the Middle School that will pretend like they are wearing boots and ignore you all period.
Matthew will never be that kid ... right???
Thank you Spidey for your services this morning ... Thank you Lord for my son and his amazing sense of humor (can't imagine where he got that) ... Broken hearing aids and all Lord ... Thank you for providing to meet every need of my family, always.
This morning as Matthew was getting ready for school, we noticed as we were changing one of his hearing aid batteries that the back battery door on his aid was broken. Urgh. This has happened before ... but being the "Mother of the Year" that I am, I don't remember which aid is was ... it could very well be the same one ... but again maybe not ...
We have some rockin' SpiderMan bandaids though ... and they sure came to the rescue, cutting them just so to seal off the back of his hearing aid, and looking mighty stylish as well ... Matthew was quite excited anyhow.
This all indicates something I have been waiting for in recent months ... it is time finally ... for new hearing aids. (sigh)
Matthew has had the current pair since he was diagnosed when he was 2, and I suppose the life of hearing aids isn't that great ... it is a small electronic gadget more or less ... Have you ever had a cell phone last for more than 4 years? Things are always updated and so on ... as people get nerdier and find smaller, more fancy-shmancy ways of dorking up the world.
And, yes ... I needed to spend $4,000 on something right? ... %$#@ ... so yipeeee skipeee ... it will be new hearing aids. (can you sense sarcasm in a blog?)
At school Matthew wears a "trainer" that is like a backwards backpack on his chest, with 2 cords that boot into his hearing aids ... so the FM system the teacher is wearing goes directly into his little ears ... He was quick to tell me today that he only wore ONE boot with his trainer since the other aid was broken. I guess in kindergarten kids are enjoying what their teachers have to say and want to hear all parts of the story ... shoot, I have kids at the Middle School that will pretend like they are wearing boots and ignore you all period.
Matthew will never be that kid ... right???
Thank you Spidey for your services this morning ... Thank you Lord for my son and his amazing sense of humor (can't imagine where he got that) ... Broken hearing aids and all Lord ... Thank you for providing to meet every need of my family, always.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Jesus and Salt-n-Pepa ...
I just finished 1/2 of my long run ... a wise friend told me (and I know she is thinking, haha, I am not wise) ... she said not to split your long runs ... but we have Playhouse Disney Live to go to ... and I don't have the time, so 1/2 now and 1/2 after ... she'd understand and in her wisdom, she'd say "do what you have to do, your family is 1st" ... I love her perspective on life. She is an amazing woman, I wish I could see her more.
What does that have to do with Jesus and Salt-n-Pepa you ask?
I was in a great part of my run, really on it, great pace, and I was praising Jesus for my body and the ability to run ... at the same time my ipod switched to "Push It" by Salt-n-Pepa, which was the perfect running song for me I found, great pace, constant beat ... I was so into it, I got chills while I was running even, I could feel Jesus' hand on my back pushing me along, He is proud of me ... I think moments like that are when He is smiling and thinking, You are doing so well my daughter, Thank you Jesus.
A long time ago I made a motivational poster ... cutting out pictures, phrases and so on from magazines, glued them on a big poster board and even had it laminated. It has a picture of a woman rock climbing and words like "break through" "triumph of the spirit" "body confidence" I put scripture on it too ... "I can do all things through Christ" ... it's a fun poster ... something you might do when you are 12 and have boy pictures from Teen Bop magazine. Hahaha.
I moved it from under my desk, which was a great place for a motivational poster, and I hung it right in front of my treadmill, so it is the only thing I see while I am running and working out. It was great to read it over and over as I was just running ...
So, I feel the need to say as well that this isn't about a size 2 ... a 4 or a 6 even ... this is about spending more time worshiping my Lord and Savior than thinking about how my thighs rub together and could possibly start a fire if they were dry enough. This is about looking in my mirror and seeing all that is right instead of what I think is wrong. Jesus looks at me and doesn't see anything wrong, I am loved JUST AS I AM. It is learning to accept that, to BELIEVE that ... in this process to be stronger, healthier and a better role model for my children ... if a size 8 or 10 comes with that ... then yeeeee haw.
I realize too, when I am taking time to beat myself up ... when I am using energy to think about how my this and that is not how they were at whatever point in my life, then at that exact moment, Satan is winning, he has a stronghold on my life and my focus is not on God. No longer ... I surrender it all Jesus.
Amen.
What does that have to do with Jesus and Salt-n-Pepa you ask?
I was in a great part of my run, really on it, great pace, and I was praising Jesus for my body and the ability to run ... at the same time my ipod switched to "Push It" by Salt-n-Pepa, which was the perfect running song for me I found, great pace, constant beat ... I was so into it, I got chills while I was running even, I could feel Jesus' hand on my back pushing me along, He is proud of me ... I think moments like that are when He is smiling and thinking, You are doing so well my daughter, Thank you Jesus.
A long time ago I made a motivational poster ... cutting out pictures, phrases and so on from magazines, glued them on a big poster board and even had it laminated. It has a picture of a woman rock climbing and words like "break through" "triumph of the spirit" "body confidence" I put scripture on it too ... "I can do all things through Christ" ... it's a fun poster ... something you might do when you are 12 and have boy pictures from Teen Bop magazine. Hahaha.
I moved it from under my desk, which was a great place for a motivational poster, and I hung it right in front of my treadmill, so it is the only thing I see while I am running and working out. It was great to read it over and over as I was just running ...
So, I feel the need to say as well that this isn't about a size 2 ... a 4 or a 6 even ... this is about spending more time worshiping my Lord and Savior than thinking about how my thighs rub together and could possibly start a fire if they were dry enough. This is about looking in my mirror and seeing all that is right instead of what I think is wrong. Jesus looks at me and doesn't see anything wrong, I am loved JUST AS I AM. It is learning to accept that, to BELIEVE that ... in this process to be stronger, healthier and a better role model for my children ... if a size 8 or 10 comes with that ... then yeeeee haw.
I realize too, when I am taking time to beat myself up ... when I am using energy to think about how my this and that is not how they were at whatever point in my life, then at that exact moment, Satan is winning, he has a stronghold on my life and my focus is not on God. No longer ... I surrender it all Jesus.
Amen.
The Great Snowshoeing Debacle!
Ahhh, yes ... so yesterday our family went snowshoeing ... or attempted too. My dear husband wanted us all to enjoy a day of easy hiking in the snow, in the beauty of the Rocky Mountains. I went along with it because I knew how much Caloy wanted us to do this together. Matthew was so excited to snowshoe with his Daddy! I didn't want to be a party-pooper ... but I had doubts about this adventure from the get-go ...
We loaded the car with snow gear ... blankets ... peanut butter sammies ... and enough water to store in a camel ... and off we went.
"Did you check the weather? You do know where we are going right? Somewhere close right?"
"Yeah, yeah and yeah." He assured me."Just down Nelson, to 36 and a little ... "
We weren't 2 miles down the road when Caloy realized he left the backpack for Gracie at home. Ahhh, clue #1 that this adventure wasn't going to be fabulously sucessful.
We were back on our way ... 30 minutes ... an hour ... we had surpassed the directions that Caloy told me that morning ...
"Where are we going???"
"It's just up here!"
"Remember I said I didn't want to go too far?"
"Just a few more minutes ..."
As we continued to climb and the roads got snowier (is that a word?) I was getting more and more ticked ...
"Really? This is "close"? I asked you if you knew where we were going ... You think this is ok for our mini van without chains? Really?"
"Want me to turn around and go back home?"
"Are you serious ... we drove over an hour to no-where-land and you are asking if I want to go back? I didn't want to come to begin with ... WHERE ARE WE GOING?"
"Its just up here ... "
"Say that again, and see what happens ... "
Add in too that Grace is freaking out and Matthew is chiming in too.
"WAS THAT A SIGN FOR BRAINARD LAKE?"
"Yes, thats where we are going."
"You didn't say that before, you said it was close, I wouldn't have wanted us to come here, it is too far and too cold and you really think that it is ok to take Gracie out in this weather ... I can't believe you didn't tell me where we were going! We've been here before remember?"
"No"
"YES I HAVE PICTURES ... "
"I don't remember"
It went on and on from there ... and probably nothing that should be published ... you can all imagine though.
So we arrive ... and are turning to park and the sky darkens ... and the wind starts to howl ... and the snow that is on every tree branch starts to fly through the air and when it hits your face it feels like a needle ... we park.
"I'm not taking Gracie out in this ... if I am freezing then I can assume our 18 month old is freezing too"
"Let's just go home then"
"Really? You better strap those shoes on and take your son out ... (Matthew is already out of his seat and putting on his snow gear) See how excited he is? Grace and I will wait in the car."
So, Caloy and Matthew walked around for maybe 5 minutes ... Matthew said it was too cold and his face hurt ... everything was covered except his eyes and nose ... but they were frozen even after 5 minutes ...
They came back to the car ... changed clothes and that was it. 40$ in show shoe rentals ... for 5 minutes of "hiking". While Caloy was out with Matthew my anger became laughter ... almost hysteria ...
What a day.
We drove home and that was that ... 3 hours in the car for 5 minutes of frozen fun, while Grace and I watched from the van. Yes, the great snowshoeing debacle it was.
We loaded the car with snow gear ... blankets ... peanut butter sammies ... and enough water to store in a camel ... and off we went.
"Did you check the weather? You do know where we are going right? Somewhere close right?"
"Yeah, yeah and yeah." He assured me."Just down Nelson, to 36 and a little ... "
We weren't 2 miles down the road when Caloy realized he left the backpack for Gracie at home. Ahhh, clue #1 that this adventure wasn't going to be fabulously sucessful.
We were back on our way ... 30 minutes ... an hour ... we had surpassed the directions that Caloy told me that morning ...
"Where are we going???"
"It's just up here!"
"Remember I said I didn't want to go too far?"
"Just a few more minutes ..."
As we continued to climb and the roads got snowier (is that a word?) I was getting more and more ticked ...
"Really? This is "close"? I asked you if you knew where we were going ... You think this is ok for our mini van without chains? Really?"
"Want me to turn around and go back home?"
"Are you serious ... we drove over an hour to no-where-land and you are asking if I want to go back? I didn't want to come to begin with ... WHERE ARE WE GOING?"
"Its just up here ... "
"Say that again, and see what happens ... "
Add in too that Grace is freaking out and Matthew is chiming in too.
"WAS THAT A SIGN FOR BRAINARD LAKE?"
"Yes, thats where we are going."
"You didn't say that before, you said it was close, I wouldn't have wanted us to come here, it is too far and too cold and you really think that it is ok to take Gracie out in this weather ... I can't believe you didn't tell me where we were going! We've been here before remember?"
"No"
"YES I HAVE PICTURES ... "
"I don't remember"
It went on and on from there ... and probably nothing that should be published ... you can all imagine though.
So we arrive ... and are turning to park and the sky darkens ... and the wind starts to howl ... and the snow that is on every tree branch starts to fly through the air and when it hits your face it feels like a needle ... we park.
"I'm not taking Gracie out in this ... if I am freezing then I can assume our 18 month old is freezing too"
"Let's just go home then"
"Really? You better strap those shoes on and take your son out ... (Matthew is already out of his seat and putting on his snow gear) See how excited he is? Grace and I will wait in the car."
So, Caloy and Matthew walked around for maybe 5 minutes ... Matthew said it was too cold and his face hurt ... everything was covered except his eyes and nose ... but they were frozen even after 5 minutes ...
They came back to the car ... changed clothes and that was it. 40$ in show shoe rentals ... for 5 minutes of "hiking". While Caloy was out with Matthew my anger became laughter ... almost hysteria ...
What a day.
We drove home and that was that ... 3 hours in the car for 5 minutes of frozen fun, while Grace and I watched from the van. Yes, the great snowshoeing debacle it was.
Trivial Pursuit
Lately I am having all of these realizations about how I am getting old ... not using a cane, fake teeth and depends old, but just older I suppose. Last night I had dinner with my friends Giselle and Matt from the Y. We are great friends and an odd group to say the least ... Giselle is 38, single and living with her parents, Me, 31, married, kiddies and Matt who is 22, has a girlfriend and just graduated from CU. 3 people at completely different phases in life, but we all get along so well. Matt has said before, "other people just don't get us" ... true, they don't and I think that's awesome.
Was that the reason I am feeling older? No ... just a little background information. After dinner with the "they just don't get us" group, we played Trivial Pursuit 90's edition. Have you played Trivial Pursuit ... the game that I could never answer a question ... maybe a random sports question every now and then, but shoot, that was a hard game. Last night though it was the 90's edition and besides the Disney version of Trivial Pursuit which my 6 year old could answer, I thought this would be one I could play ... answer questions without seeming like a complete fool ... and I did! I remembered things that I had no idea held space in my brain ... I was AWESOME, but I also thought, uh oh, I am getting older ... I can actually play Trivial Pursuit and win ... that means I have been alive long enough to remember enough random events and trivia from an entire decade ... a whole box worth ... yes, I am getting older.
And ... no, I didn't win ... the 22 year old did ... but he is a dork and he cheated! (wow that sounded "older") ... is it possible to be older and still be completely immature???
Don't answer that.
Was that the reason I am feeling older? No ... just a little background information. After dinner with the "they just don't get us" group, we played Trivial Pursuit 90's edition. Have you played Trivial Pursuit ... the game that I could never answer a question ... maybe a random sports question every now and then, but shoot, that was a hard game. Last night though it was the 90's edition and besides the Disney version of Trivial Pursuit which my 6 year old could answer, I thought this would be one I could play ... answer questions without seeming like a complete fool ... and I did! I remembered things that I had no idea held space in my brain ... I was AWESOME, but I also thought, uh oh, I am getting older ... I can actually play Trivial Pursuit and win ... that means I have been alive long enough to remember enough random events and trivia from an entire decade ... a whole box worth ... yes, I am getting older.
And ... no, I didn't win ... the 22 year old did ... but he is a dork and he cheated! (wow that sounded "older") ... is it possible to be older and still be completely immature???
Don't answer that.
Friday, January 11, 2008
TGIF
Thank you GOD that today is Friday ... Thank you God that I am home with my family for 2 days, to enjoy jammies in the morning, play all day long and snuggle at night ... This week felt like it flew by ... work was good, as good as work can be I suppose.
I am proud of myself for surrendering daily to my God, for staying in focus and being healthy. "Lord you are good and your mercy endures forever ..." been singing that all day.
Tomorrow we are going snowshoeing ... Matthew is so excited! I don't know which he is more excited about ... the actual hiking or the poles that look like killer swords. Either way, he is super thrilled and his Daddy is too ... which makes it all worth while.
Sunday we are going to see Playhouse Disney Live! Should be lots of fun ... is there anything greater than watching the face's of your children light up???
Tomorrow I have my longest run yet ... 7 miles ... after snowshoeing ... whew, shoot ... we'll see. :)
I am proud of myself for surrendering daily to my God, for staying in focus and being healthy. "Lord you are good and your mercy endures forever ..." been singing that all day.
Tomorrow we are going snowshoeing ... Matthew is so excited! I don't know which he is more excited about ... the actual hiking or the poles that look like killer swords. Either way, he is super thrilled and his Daddy is too ... which makes it all worth while.
Sunday we are going to see Playhouse Disney Live! Should be lots of fun ... is there anything greater than watching the face's of your children light up???
Tomorrow I have my longest run yet ... 7 miles ... after snowshoeing ... whew, shoot ... we'll see. :)
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Safeway
I love my local Safeway ... maybe "love" is a strong word, but I like it ... a lot. People are nice and the store is great. After interpreting and then working at the Y for a few hours, I went to Safeway for some dinner stuff ... making our weekly go-to ... Taco Salad ... did I get only things for Taco Salad ... um, duh, of course not;
Snacks for the kiddies
V8 Pomegranate Blueberry Fusion
Dates
Bananas
Stuff for Matthew's lunch ...
The list goes on and on. I love checking out and waiting to the last minute to give up my Safeway card and watch the savings roll off ... whooo hooooo! "Well, Mrs. Fernandez you saved 13.99$ today AND got the .10$ fuel discount!" I am almost waiting for balloons to fall from the ceiling, it is so exciting. ;)
Then ... the best part??? I park down the lot, I have a good place I normally go, which is the perfect cart riding distance ... yes, you know what I mean ... running with the cart and hopping on the back! So what if I am 31, alone without children and playing in the parking lot??? It's awesome and makes me smile ... especially after saving 13.99$ AND getting my .10$ fuel discount! Life is grand.
Oh, and one last thing ... I thought about last night that it is possible that no one reads this ever ... and possible that people read it daily ... I am enjoying blogging a lot ... remember at the end of Doogie Howser M.D. when he would type on his computer??? Haha, that's me ... oh, minus the acting and being a doctor, or a fake doctor.
Thank you Lord for shopping carts and Safeway. Thank you for my ability to run and jump on the back ... wind in my face and a smile ear to ear, as if I was 5 ... You are so good Lord.
Amen.
Snacks for the kiddies
V8 Pomegranate Blueberry Fusion
Dates
Bananas
Stuff for Matthew's lunch ...
The list goes on and on. I love checking out and waiting to the last minute to give up my Safeway card and watch the savings roll off ... whooo hooooo! "Well, Mrs. Fernandez you saved 13.99$ today AND got the .10$ fuel discount!" I am almost waiting for balloons to fall from the ceiling, it is so exciting. ;)
Then ... the best part??? I park down the lot, I have a good place I normally go, which is the perfect cart riding distance ... yes, you know what I mean ... running with the cart and hopping on the back! So what if I am 31, alone without children and playing in the parking lot??? It's awesome and makes me smile ... especially after saving 13.99$ AND getting my .10$ fuel discount! Life is grand.
Oh, and one last thing ... I thought about last night that it is possible that no one reads this ever ... and possible that people read it daily ... I am enjoying blogging a lot ... remember at the end of Doogie Howser M.D. when he would type on his computer??? Haha, that's me ... oh, minus the acting and being a doctor, or a fake doctor.
Thank you Lord for shopping carts and Safeway. Thank you for my ability to run and jump on the back ... wind in my face and a smile ear to ear, as if I was 5 ... You are so good Lord.
Amen.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
He knows my name ...
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call ...
Isn't that a great picture of God? I love that worship song, could listen to it over and over. Well, today is Tuesday ... and it was a blessing. The mountains would have been singing this morning if they could ... they got a generous dose of snow last night and they looked fabulous as I was driving to work.
I had a yummy shake this morning for breakfast ... light soy milk, 1/2 of a nana, ice and Geni-soy chocolate powder ... lots of healthy stuff in that one ... keeps me full all morning. I brought a copy cat of my salad I made last night to work ... as it was sooooo yummy that I wanted to eat it again. I had an apple and pineapple too ... tea and water all day long ... the pee-ing is getting under control finally. Whew ... good thing huh?
My sweet husband made me some tofu when I came home ... diced up really small ... I prefer extra firm tofu that is really well seasoned and not just a slimy blob ... it can be that way sometimes, with 1/2 cup of brown rice and some brocolli and carrots ... it was a perfect dinner!
Oh, I did run today too ... after I got home ... nice and sweaty I am.
Soooo ... here I sit eating the last of my pineapple and getting ready to watch Biggest Loser. That show is amazing ... inspiring.
Thank you Lord for a day that began with the sun shining on the Rocky Mountains. Thank you Lord for Matthew and his excitement about going back to school today ... thank you for his school, where his needs are met and he is just surpassing all the goals and expectations that were put before him. Thank you Lord for my husband who is here caring for my sweet baby girl all day long. Thank you for the job you are bringing forward for my husband as well ... something grand must be in the works Lord, and I want to thank you already for your continuing guidance and grace ... and of course, speaking of Grace ... could a child have more love in her eyes and smile? I am so thankful for our Gracie Lord, she is such a complete joy.
The blessings continue to abound ... my cup is overflowing ... I surrender it all.
Amen.
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call ...
Isn't that a great picture of God? I love that worship song, could listen to it over and over. Well, today is Tuesday ... and it was a blessing. The mountains would have been singing this morning if they could ... they got a generous dose of snow last night and they looked fabulous as I was driving to work.
I had a yummy shake this morning for breakfast ... light soy milk, 1/2 of a nana, ice and Geni-soy chocolate powder ... lots of healthy stuff in that one ... keeps me full all morning. I brought a copy cat of my salad I made last night to work ... as it was sooooo yummy that I wanted to eat it again. I had an apple and pineapple too ... tea and water all day long ... the pee-ing is getting under control finally. Whew ... good thing huh?
My sweet husband made me some tofu when I came home ... diced up really small ... I prefer extra firm tofu that is really well seasoned and not just a slimy blob ... it can be that way sometimes, with 1/2 cup of brown rice and some brocolli and carrots ... it was a perfect dinner!
Oh, I did run today too ... after I got home ... nice and sweaty I am.
Soooo ... here I sit eating the last of my pineapple and getting ready to watch Biggest Loser. That show is amazing ... inspiring.
Thank you Lord for a day that began with the sun shining on the Rocky Mountains. Thank you Lord for Matthew and his excitement about going back to school today ... thank you for his school, where his needs are met and he is just surpassing all the goals and expectations that were put before him. Thank you Lord for my husband who is here caring for my sweet baby girl all day long. Thank you for the job you are bringing forward for my husband as well ... something grand must be in the works Lord, and I want to thank you already for your continuing guidance and grace ... and of course, speaking of Grace ... could a child have more love in her eyes and smile? I am so thankful for our Gracie Lord, she is such a complete joy.
The blessings continue to abound ... my cup is overflowing ... I surrender it all.
Amen.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Today's Menu ...
I did pretty well today, I should say that differently, I did awesome, I surrendered everything over to my Lord and had a great day ... I am alive right???
Woke up at 5:27 ... back to work Interpreting today. Yipeee ... Middle School Deaf kids. Awesome right???
I had some great herbal tea this morning, vanilla soy yogurt with yumm-o-rama blackberries and a toasted bagel from the Alternative Bagel Company. Have you had those before? They are awesome! 110 calories, NO fat, 7 grams of fiber and 6 grams of protein ... all in a perfect little bread circle of love.
At work I had more tea and lots of water ... I brought veggie soup for lunch and had a delicious apple too. The apple was called "Honey Crisp" ... it was great. For a snack I had one of the little mini-pop-smart popcorn baggies. They are cute and tiny.
When I got home ... I did a 5K on the treadmill in the basement and played with my monkeys. I had a fabulous salad with lettuce(duh), tomatoes, green bell pepper, jicima (which I LOVE) and vegan bacon bits ... I bought some vegan ranch dressing from the resturaunt Watercourse in Denver. It is really great, made with soy.
I had some fresh dates too ... I love dates ... they are so sweet and fabulous. Isn't God amazing for having made so many delicious things made for His people to eat??? Got a pineapple at the store, might cut that up and have some later. You are so good to me Lord.
Can you imagine how ever many years ago when someone, somewhere discovered a pineapple ... it looks so crazy and weird, but to cut it open and see how luscious and ridiculously sweet the inside was??? What a discovery huh??? I'm sure that made God smile. Makes me smile.
Sooo ... this was my day. I made it through, I ate well and exercised, I was loved by my family and hopefully made someone smile at work. Blessings abound I tell you ...
I may continue to blog what I eat and don't eat ... but for now, this day, I am done.
Thank you Lord for the work you are continuing in me.
Woke up at 5:27 ... back to work Interpreting today. Yipeee ... Middle School Deaf kids. Awesome right???
I had some great herbal tea this morning, vanilla soy yogurt with yumm-o-rama blackberries and a toasted bagel from the Alternative Bagel Company. Have you had those before? They are awesome! 110 calories, NO fat, 7 grams of fiber and 6 grams of protein ... all in a perfect little bread circle of love.
At work I had more tea and lots of water ... I brought veggie soup for lunch and had a delicious apple too. The apple was called "Honey Crisp" ... it was great. For a snack I had one of the little mini-pop-smart popcorn baggies. They are cute and tiny.
When I got home ... I did a 5K on the treadmill in the basement and played with my monkeys. I had a fabulous salad with lettuce(duh), tomatoes, green bell pepper, jicima (which I LOVE) and vegan bacon bits ... I bought some vegan ranch dressing from the resturaunt Watercourse in Denver. It is really great, made with soy.
I had some fresh dates too ... I love dates ... they are so sweet and fabulous. Isn't God amazing for having made so many delicious things made for His people to eat??? Got a pineapple at the store, might cut that up and have some later. You are so good to me Lord.
Can you imagine how ever many years ago when someone, somewhere discovered a pineapple ... it looks so crazy and weird, but to cut it open and see how luscious and ridiculously sweet the inside was??? What a discovery huh??? I'm sure that made God smile. Makes me smile.
Sooo ... this was my day. I made it through, I ate well and exercised, I was loved by my family and hopefully made someone smile at work. Blessings abound I tell you ...
I may continue to blog what I eat and don't eat ... but for now, this day, I am done.
Thank you Lord for the work you are continuing in me.
What's that sound???
Um ... yea, I thought it was my boobies slapping against my body when I was running up the stairs ... without a bra on obviously ... then I thought, nope ... um ... I think that is my tummy!!! Yes, sure enough ... I know because I ran up the stairs NAKED just to double check ... and no joke, the slapping-flapping-sound ... it is from the tummy hanging over the c-section scar that slapped so hard it sounded like someone applauding me. Hahaha ... can you believe it? Just when I want to rant about how I have let myself go and the tummy flap that I have, I will be still and be thankful ... I have that tummy because I have two amazing children that my Lord has blessed me with ... I would do it all over again, have a tummy flap that is 3 times the size, to have my children.
Thank you Lord for giving me the ability to have children, thank you for giving me Matthew and Grace, thank you for reminding me of your mercy and love when I hear someone, er, something applauding as I run upstairs. My own tummy applauds me ... hahahaha ... I'm laughing outloud because that is hilarious.
Thank you Lord for giving me the ability to have children, thank you for giving me Matthew and Grace, thank you for reminding me of your mercy and love when I hear someone, er, something applauding as I run upstairs. My own tummy applauds me ... hahahaha ... I'm laughing outloud because that is hilarious.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Have you ever tried ...
Brussel Sprouts??? I had never tasted them ... I was never forced to eat them as a kid ... I was never forced to eat anything really ... well, one time when my Grandma Betty wouldn't let me leave the table until I ate all my pea soup. God bless you Grandma Betty, as I love pea soup now. I can hardly wait to see you in Heaven, do you know how much I miss you?
Tonight I made the Brussel Sprouts ... washed them off, sauted them with a little EVOO (ala Rachel Ray ... I love her!) garlic and some S&P. Then I roasted them in the oven at 350 for about 20 minutes ... and drum roll ........................................................
THEY WERE YUMMY!!! Tasted like cabbage, little crunchier ... but yum-o-rama. They are loaded with folate, Vitamin C and Iron ... which is muy importanto for me; Vegans and vegetarians lag in the iron department. Sooo, yipeeeeeeeee ... found another yummy vegetable. Caloy liked them too, which is always a plus!!!
Thank you Lord for Brussel Sprouts ... for your Divine plan for my life.
Tonight I made the Brussel Sprouts ... washed them off, sauted them with a little EVOO (ala Rachel Ray ... I love her!) garlic and some S&P. Then I roasted them in the oven at 350 for about 20 minutes ... and drum roll ........................................................
THEY WERE YUMMY!!! Tasted like cabbage, little crunchier ... but yum-o-rama. They are loaded with folate, Vitamin C and Iron ... which is muy importanto for me; Vegans and vegetarians lag in the iron department. Sooo, yipeeeeeeeee ... found another yummy vegetable. Caloy liked them too, which is always a plus!!!
Thank you Lord for Brussel Sprouts ... for your Divine plan for my life.
Being a Vegan ...
Gosh, I have so many thoughts on this really ... it is a choice I have made for myself (vegetarian since I was what ... 18?), for better health, to eat those things that the Lord made for food ... it is a challenge ... I told my Mom if people could hear the conversations that go on in my head when I see a brownie ... maybe I should just share it, every knows I am crazy ... then once its out, I can move forward??? Here it is ...
(I see a brownie ... it's warm even ... with frosting ... it's taunting me ... just eat me ... can you hear it???)
At this point some of you may think ... just eat it! Why not? It's one brownie! Enjoy it! ...
This is the problem though ... it's not just one and then it is the constant head game that follows ... no longer though, I surrender it all, the brownie, the warm frosting ... the crumbs on the plate that I want to squeeze onto my finger and then lick off ...
WARNING ... YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO READ ANY FURTHER ...
Then I have to think about what the brownie is made of ... I know there are eggs in that ... and most likely milk too ... so I have to discuss with myself again how and why those things are not alright for me to eat ... it all goes back to years of being a vegetarian. I can so easily dismiss a piece of chicken or a steak, without a second glance ... I know why the dairy industry is awful, I know the facts that cows are forced into pregnancy for their milk production and that their calves are taken away the moment they are birthed to be raised for veal ... I know the horror of the egg industry and how chickens are kept, fed and everything that is or is not pumped into them to make more eggs than is natural ... that if those eggs were kept longer they would be chicks ... so there, I said it ... I can't eat eggs, or dairy products for the same reason that I can not eat meat or fish. I surrender the head game ... I surrender it Lord.
There are some that will read this and roll their eyes ... Hey, I warned you not to read on ... if you did and that bothers you ... sorry, facts are facts. I could certainly go on ... or give you a million websites to read about it yourself ... So, I choose to no longer to eat "those" brownies ... I can make some myself if I want ... and use ingredients that are natural and fabulous ... I surrender my completely whacked and freaky discussions in my head about food Lord, take it from me. I will eat only what is made for me to eat ... only when I am hungry ... and if it is a brownie, then let it be yummy and made without any animal products.
Thank you Lord for the world you have made ... for the diversity of cultures and people. I am a vegan and will continue to eat in a healthy way that will glorify You.
(I see a brownie ... it's warm even ... with frosting ... it's taunting me ... just eat me ... can you hear it???)
At this point some of you may think ... just eat it! Why not? It's one brownie! Enjoy it! ...
This is the problem though ... it's not just one and then it is the constant head game that follows ... no longer though, I surrender it all, the brownie, the warm frosting ... the crumbs on the plate that I want to squeeze onto my finger and then lick off ...
WARNING ... YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO READ ANY FURTHER ...
Then I have to think about what the brownie is made of ... I know there are eggs in that ... and most likely milk too ... so I have to discuss with myself again how and why those things are not alright for me to eat ... it all goes back to years of being a vegetarian. I can so easily dismiss a piece of chicken or a steak, without a second glance ... I know why the dairy industry is awful, I know the facts that cows are forced into pregnancy for their milk production and that their calves are taken away the moment they are birthed to be raised for veal ... I know the horror of the egg industry and how chickens are kept, fed and everything that is or is not pumped into them to make more eggs than is natural ... that if those eggs were kept longer they would be chicks ... so there, I said it ... I can't eat eggs, or dairy products for the same reason that I can not eat meat or fish. I surrender the head game ... I surrender it Lord.
There are some that will read this and roll their eyes ... Hey, I warned you not to read on ... if you did and that bothers you ... sorry, facts are facts. I could certainly go on ... or give you a million websites to read about it yourself ... So, I choose to no longer to eat "those" brownies ... I can make some myself if I want ... and use ingredients that are natural and fabulous ... I surrender my completely whacked and freaky discussions in my head about food Lord, take it from me. I will eat only what is made for me to eat ... only when I am hungry ... and if it is a brownie, then let it be yummy and made without any animal products.
Thank you Lord for the world you have made ... for the diversity of cultures and people. I am a vegan and will continue to eat in a healthy way that will glorify You.
Am I stuck in a fat suit???
That's how it feels ... when I look at myself in the mirror ... yep, naked, in all my glory ... who is that person? Kinda looks like me ... I can see my freckles, and yep, sure enough, those are my blue eyes ... (and the Lord speaks to me ... I love you Jessica, just as you are) ... a deep breath, and it is me, I can see it now. Another deep breath and I fall to my knees ...
Lord,
You made this very body ... you placed every freckle on my face ... you gave me eyes like the ocean ... You gave me 5 feet and 2 inches to look out into the world ... I am thankful for the abilities you have blessed me with. I can run and jump and dance ... ohhh, Lord, can I ever dance ... and You know how much joy that brings me. I love to dance Lord. I love to be silly and dance with my children and I love to be held by my husband when he slowly rocks me back and forth to music he can not hear. I am blessed Lord.
So, it is this very day that I surrender and will take another step closer to being the woman, spiritually, mentally and physically that You desire for me Lord. The healthly lifestyle You offer me Lord, the mountains out my very door for me to climb, I will be healthy, I will do what is right for my body and eat only what is necessary, I will exercise and slowly get out of this fat suit I am stuck in ... for a moment, only for a moment do I feel stuck ... every time I breathe deep and pray Lord, I can unzip it further.
Thank you Lord for the sounds of my children playing while I sit here and type ... Amazing Grace playing through my computer.
To greater health, love of myself and being closer to you Lord ...
AMEN.
Lord,
You made this very body ... you placed every freckle on my face ... you gave me eyes like the ocean ... You gave me 5 feet and 2 inches to look out into the world ... I am thankful for the abilities you have blessed me with. I can run and jump and dance ... ohhh, Lord, can I ever dance ... and You know how much joy that brings me. I love to dance Lord. I love to be silly and dance with my children and I love to be held by my husband when he slowly rocks me back and forth to music he can not hear. I am blessed Lord.
So, it is this very day that I surrender and will take another step closer to being the woman, spiritually, mentally and physically that You desire for me Lord. The healthly lifestyle You offer me Lord, the mountains out my very door for me to climb, I will be healthy, I will do what is right for my body and eat only what is necessary, I will exercise and slowly get out of this fat suit I am stuck in ... for a moment, only for a moment do I feel stuck ... every time I breathe deep and pray Lord, I can unzip it further.
Thank you Lord for the sounds of my children playing while I sit here and type ... Amazing Grace playing through my computer.
To greater health, love of myself and being closer to you Lord ...
AMEN.
Worship ...
In Better Hands, by Natalie Grant
"It's hard to stand on shifting sand
It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
You can't be free if you don't reach for help
You cant love if you don't love yourself
There is hope when my faith runs out
Cause I'm in better hands now ... "
The lyrics "You can't be free if you don't reach for help, You can't love if you don't love yourself" really spoke to me and that's why I wanted to share ... there are so many powerful worship songs, I could go on and on really ... "I Dare You to Move" by Switchfoot is another with fabulously powerful lyrics. Music is amazing. I AM reaching for help ... I can not do this by myself, this is why I've never been sucessful ... I DO love myself, more and more everyday ...
Thank you Lord for giving me renewed strength ... for this exact moment that I asked for it. Thank you.
"It's hard to stand on shifting sand
It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
You can't be free if you don't reach for help
You cant love if you don't love yourself
There is hope when my faith runs out
Cause I'm in better hands now ... "
The lyrics "You can't be free if you don't reach for help, You can't love if you don't love yourself" really spoke to me and that's why I wanted to share ... there are so many powerful worship songs, I could go on and on really ... "I Dare You to Move" by Switchfoot is another with fabulously powerful lyrics. Music is amazing. I AM reaching for help ... I can not do this by myself, this is why I've never been sucessful ... I DO love myself, more and more everyday ...
Thank you Lord for giving me renewed strength ... for this exact moment that I asked for it. Thank you.
Waving the white flag ...
So ... the dictionary reads; Surrender ... to yield (something) to the possession or power of another. Here I am, surrendering everything to my Lord and Savior, the only One who can heal my deepest hurts ... my life long battle with my weight, my body image. I am done Lord, and it is YOURS to take. Do I feel like a burden has been lifted? Not yet, as I know it will take the daily act of surrender to know that this issue is no longer mine alone. Thank you Lord for the work you are doing in me ... I live to serve you.
-Jessica
-Jessica
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)